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FEATURING:

Weston Prescott
Janice DelDubio
Ray Hemerley
Gail Wavenly
Antonio Belia
S. M. Rombarawitz
Loren Schofield
Gene Dale
Richard A. Goldberg
Lydia Linda Lorna
Pierre Vuilleumier
David Zucker


MUSIC:

Kevin MacLeod, Incompetech


SOUND ELEMENTS:

The Freesound Project

Including work by: Clammyhands, Cognito Perceptu, Engreitz, Fonogeno, Hanstimm, Jmaimarc, Laurent, Metamorphmuses, NoiseCollector, Robinhood76, Reinsamba, Stijn, ShadesDaMixer, Streety, Themfish


TOE & LOGO DESIGN:

Richard A. Goldberg

ROBIN BRECKER
Executive Producer


Contact

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Category:general -- posted at: 12:26pm EDT
Comments[0]

The 200th and Ultimate Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast

We bomb the s#it out the *-word.  

Yes, that's true.  Expletive repeated 732 times in

F*cking Inn

and

&ucking %hicken,

plus the Wrong Foot Song,

clean as a whistle.

 

Direct download: EP200--For_the_Last_Time_Stop_Flucking_Around.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:12pm EDT
Comments[0]

EP199-SkyWash Dry 'N' Fold, Part Three

OK, so Brightstar was trying to find the command ship, but he’s in the laundry room aboard Sky Wash Dry N Fold.  The washer and dryer think he’s Taboolian  Tuh Boo Lee In.  Halfly can’t find Brightstar, Benton-Brook can’t find respect.  Nike, the missile can’t find squat.  Lieutenant "Little" Fluff "Too" Linten, fresh out of the Academy on his first voyage and not wanting to disgrace his family's name can’t find the captain.  The captain can’t find Iron Uh.  She’s in the storage room.  How many parsecs are they from the command ship?

 

Does it matter?  In the end, you still need to clean out the lint.

Direct download: EP199-SkyWash_Dry_N_Fold_Part_Three.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:13am EDT
Comments[0]

EP198--SkyWash Dry 'N' Fold Part Two

Captain's Quarters, IGLS (Intergalactic Laundry Ship) 4219 EJ K36& 7

My dear Mishaga,

     I write this with the last ink of my space pen.  You know the one that writes upside down?  It never ceases to amaze or amuse me when I lie on my back and see the words appear on my Captain Midnight Space Tablet.  

     I used to laugh at you for stalking those porch sales.  It's nothing but junk from past civilizations, I said.  But I'm not laughing now.  It my most treasured possession.  Like the ink that flows up out of my pen, so do the tears from my eyes as I lie in my bunk knowing you are safe at home with our pets.

     How is Beeny?  Does he still bite off his tail?  And has Cecil learned to use the urinal yet?  I had my doubts about getting an Orangadoodle.  Frankly, just wasn't a big fan of cross breeding, even though I married you, my little hydrid human home entertainment center.  I'm sure he gives you the companionship you deserve.  The companionship I will never be able to.  

     I promised myself I wouldn't burden you with morose musings.  I need to follow the advice I give my crew, to be brave, to be loyal and to take no quarters from the enemy.  They jam the coin slots.

Your Man in Space Always,

Frank

Frank D. Slipdewitch, Capt.

sudsboss34@spacemail.orb

@fdaloadyo_45

 

 

 

 

Direct download: EP198-SkyWash_Dry_N_Fold_Part_Two.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:23am EDT
Comments[0]

EP197--SkyWash Dry 'N' Fold Part One

Exclusive to the Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast Universe, the world premier of this three-part unfinished space saga.  It's Far Out and will never be completed, so get your flight sequence ready.  10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, ... 1!

In an interstellar medium of gas dust and dark matter, a lonely traveler spins forward at hydrosonic velocity fighting wrinkles in the time continuum with payload, front load, top load and stackable.  Destiny?  Murky.  But mission steadfast.  Deliver the whitest whites and brightest colors, in the Cartugal Star Rim Cluster and Surrounding Nebulae.  It's total decontamination and no static cling aboard SkyWash … Dry 'N Fold.  

Part One:  The Sorting.

We meet the crew aboard the IGLS (Intergalactic Laundry Ship) 4219 EJ K36& 7:

Captain Frank Slipdewitch--a good man, but on the downside of an undistinguished career, torn between his loyalty to his family and 

Irona--his portable steam iron/mistress

Lt. "Little" Fluff "Too" Linten--second-in-command, fresh out of the Academy on his first voyage and not wanting to disgrace his family's name.

Mercutio 14--a washing man machine with the dream of becoming a Ned-I warrior.

Horatio AB 23--a stackable washer/dryer combination with no such ambition.

and those aboard the Command Ship:

Commander Wuwu--from the planet Wuwu, where all inhabitants are named Wuwu.  He is wise and with his third eye can see through things, however his belief in his own abilities will become a liability.

Lt. Commander Dickie Benton-BBrook--a Hyphonate, his mother a Benton, his father a Brook.  He was promoted to the Command Ship over Frank Slipdewitch and eager to prove it was not based on minority hiring policy.

At the Welkian Relay Post remote a security check point is:

Chief Petty Officer Halfley--grizzled veteran who has little patience for procedures.

Private Johnny Brightstar--young, heroic, idealist, sworn allegiance to defending the inhabitants of the Cartugal Star Rim Cluster and Surrounding Nebulae (i.e., the good guys) and

Nikey--a sexually ambiguous ICBM, once part of the Cold War Nuclear Arms Defense system, converted into a emergency personal transport system befriended by Johnny Brightstar.

Then,

Taboolia--an evil confederation of warring tribes that thrives on absorbing the atmosphere of peaceful planetary systems for their own personal pleasure via terror tactics.  The Taboolian language is adverbian in structure.  

Direct download: EP197-SkyWash_Dry_N_Fold_Part_One.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:08am EDT
Comments[0]

EP196--A Star is Garnish Again

In the exciting conclusion of our two-part story of art vs. dinner, Foster Valley doesn't chicken out, he negotiates the crap out of a deal with some tough cookie and then makes sure it hits the fan. 

Is he rewarded?  No, he has to scramble, cajole, hornswoggle, plead and asks nicely so that Lydia Linda Lorna gets the appropriate exposure and the food stays warm.

Oh, and we'll split the check.  

 

Direct download: EP196--A_Star_is_Garnish_Part_Two.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:09am EDT
Comments[0]

EP195--A Star is Garnish, Part One

When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary to explore options once concidered unacceptable, but when the human events involve a possible back-end deal worth a considerable amount and the fact that a certain party's involvement in this deal is contingent upon a meal served and enjoyed upon a certain other party, well, let's just say things get dicey.  I mean, diced.

Join Foster Valley and the great Lydia Linda Lorna in this two-parter which takes you behind the scenes of a deal, at a meal for a spiel.

Direct download: EP195--A_Star_is_Garnish_Part_One.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:21am EDT
Comments[0]

EP194--Unlucky Lou

Hey, baseball fans, here's a rare unedited recording of a famous event.

Direct download: EP194--Unlucky_Lou.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:51am EDT
Comments[0]

EP193--The Old Up and Down

 The Wrong Foot Song will get you going in a bad way when we head over to Easy Street to we look for a Tat before it all comes together on the See Saw Sex Toy, a balancing act for those who won't swing.  Or slide, either.

Direct download: EP193--The_Old_Up_N_Down.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:00am EDT
Comments[0]

EP192--Track.Field.March.

The more you listen, the more it seems you've heard it before, but to be certain, listen again and again.

Unless, of course, it's too redundant, in which case, pretend it's unfamilar, but don't use it as an excuse.

Any questions?  Hammers and Hummers?  Coming right up.  And, breakfast is always on the table.

So dig in.

Direct download: 192--Track._Field._March..mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:28am EDT
Comments[0]

EP191--Vice Versible

This show has been vetted, reviewed and assessed for damages.  The full report will be released and there will be help to pay.  Make sure you listen.  It's Bags and Booties.  

Direct download: EP191--Vice_Versible.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:07am EDT
Comments[0]

EP190--Lief Blower

Management is not responsible.  

You downloaded it, you bought it.

Please wash your hat and coat.

Employees must watch hands before entering.

The squeeky wheel is on the driver's side.

This podcast has content, which you'll have to hear to believe.  

It's all for one.

Direct download: EP190--Lief_Blower.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:20am EDT
Comments[0]

EP189--Boils in the Fireplace

Look What Happened to My Wrong Foot when The King and Mr.French goes to the Doctor with Wedding Guests

Direct download: EP189--Boils_in_the_Fireplace.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:46am EDT
Comments[0]

EP188-All Cast, No Pod

Stop me if you've heard this, Wrong Foot Comedy Castpod?  

Let me ask you this, is quilted bathroom tissue warmer?

I was just wondering if you like Ike?

Once again, I repeat, it was all a running gag.

And for the last time, this is never to be repeated.

 

 

Direct download: EP188--All_Cast_No_Pod.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:32am EDT
Comments[0]

EP187-Loathe Me Later

Font Size 14

Format: Italics

Background color: Green

Content: Podcast

Tatoo:  "Loathers got to loathe"

 

Direct download: EP187--Loathe_Me_Later.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:07am EDT
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EP186--Ramsom Sh_t the Bed

Did you hear about Ramsom?  He Shat the Bed.  

Direct download: EP186--Randsom_Sh_t_the_Bed.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:29pm EDT
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EP185--Get in the Car, Already

Whether you have parents or not, you still have to get in the car.  

When?   You'll find out.

And LOOK OUT, here comes an XTRA WIDE LOAD!

This sentence purposely left blank.

 

Direct download: EP185--Get_in_the_Car_Already.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:02pm EDT
Comments[0]

EP184--The Mandelcorks Grow Pairs

First, Mandelcork Grows a Pair

Then, Mindy Grows a Pair

Next, A Pair Grows

And finally, there's a Pair

Direct download: EP184--The_Mandelcorks_Grow_Pairs.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:02am EDT
Comments[0]

EP183--Invisible Clipboard

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Direct download: EP183--Invisible_Clipboard.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:42am EDT
Comments[0]

EP182--Missing Something?

 

  • My End Tro Synth
  • Miller Vanilla
  • Missing Something
  • MPS
  • Moving His
  • My Jazz Song
Direct download: EP182--Missing_Something_.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:13am EDT
Comments[0]

EP181--Goo Gull Me

Far and Wide, an Intro

Finger Me

FUN KEY

House o' Tongs

Goo Gull  Me

Direct download: EP181--Goo_Gull_Me.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:34am EDT
Comments[0]

EP180--A Complete Turnaround

 

One Less To Go

Try these on for sighs.

  • Eat Watchers
  • Euphamedicine
  • Eye Am Dee Bee
Direct download: EP180--A_Complete_Turnaround.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:39am EDT
Comments[0]

EP179--When Segues Ruled The Eargth

Ten More to Go!  Ten More To Go!

Then this is the 10th.

You will hear:

 

 

Bob Chong's Hong Kong Thong Cleaning

Bull Coffee

Cock Sure

A Sample or Two
Direct download: EP179_When_Segues_Ruled_the_Eargh.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:10am EDT
Comments[0]

EP178--Old EP 021

Preview

Pant or Loon?--Pant!

Bob Nugent--Bob Nugent?

Pant or Mime?--Pant!  PANT!

Stump the Mouse, Part 2: Mouse Found and Lost--When the irreplaceable little star has an unfortunate accident his handlers hustle to find a reasonable facsimile and in the end the long-shot plan comes through.  

BullitPoint--High Caliber Presentations

Outro & Credits

Direct download: EP_178--_Old_EP_021_OtherStump.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:23am EDT
Comments[0]

EP177--Old Episode 20

Previews

Bueller's Other Day--imperfect attendance.

It Came I Saw--wood I lie?

That Feeling, That Filing--an early recording of Stump.

Meet Stump the Mouse--first of two parts.  You loved him on the silver screen in 'Stump Goes Native' and 'Stump It Up', on your lunch box in 'Stump the Mouse Lunch Box', on your breakfast cereal in 'Stump Lumps', but not in gutter, for god's sake.  Nevertheless, this little rodent knows how to make the girls squeal and the guys watch where they step.  You never know what's going to happen next with this whiskered wonder kind, unless you listen. 

Outro & Credits

Direct download: EP177--Old_EP020WrongFoot_Stump.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:48pm EDT
Comments[0]

EP176--Old EP Ten

WRONG FOOT SIZE TEN

Preview—We give you ten of these, no, not toes

Hello Tim—could be a Wrong (Foot) number

Colating—at your own risk

Flehm—something smells as good as it looks

Angry Looking—a diagnosis

Easy Street—the grass is always greener, unless the worm turns

Act Along With: Larry Derrick!—here’s your chance to co-star with a real actor

Kens Keyboards—so qwerty, it’s asdfgh

Sleep in Overrated—one opinion

Outros/Credits

Direct download: EP176--Old_EP_10.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:39am EDT
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EP175--Old EP 9

WRONG FOOT WESTERN THEMES

Previously—a brief look back at Foster Valley to get you ready you for a three piece suit

Preview

WrongFoot Navy—an honor to serve

Marshall Brody—Western theme

Foster Talent: Larry Derek Part 1—Foster gives a client a chance to get some exposure

Spraythewalk—no spaces tween words means itz what it iz

Alcapulco Accapella—the sea, the surf, the sound of the 50s

Foster Talent: Johnny Lang—Foster gives a newcomer the time of day

Foster Talent: Larry Derek Part 2—A client gives Foster a piece of his mind, 10%.

Sheriff Wilson—another Western theme

Outros/Credits

Direct download: EP175--Old_EP_9WrongFootWesternTheme.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00pm EDT
Comments[0]

EP174--Old EP 3

Maraca Vamps on Her Wrong Foot—Who doesn’t like maracas?

Foster Talent: Biff is Happy But...—Our most favorite talent agent Foster Valley meets with Happy Tooman, an old associate, who has an idea for a project Foster won’t like which has a role Happy shouldn’t play.

Hobnobbin’—R U Hobnobbin’?

Toasting Bread—Who doesn’t like toast?

Extend-a-Dream—Keep your eyes shut and nobody gets hurt

Outros/Credits

Direct download: EP174--OLD_EP_3_Wrong_Foot_Right.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00pm EDT
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OLD SHOW 6:DEATH OF A WRONG FOOT

Preview

Maraca Vamps on Her Wrong Foot—Who doesn’t like maracas?

Foster Talent: Biff is Happy But...—Our most favorite talent agent Foster Valley meets with Happy Tooman, an old associate, who has an idea for a project Foster won’t like which has a role Happy shouldn’t play.

Hobnobbin’—R U Hobnobbin’?

Toasting Bread—Who doesn’t like toast?

Extend-a-Dream—Keep your eyes shut and nobody gets hurt

Outros/Credits

Direct download: EP173--Old_EP_6_DEATH_OF_A_WRONG_FOOT_.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00pm EDT
Comments[0]

EP172--Old EP 35

Mack gives up half of his computing power for the hand held device he loves.  And in the end, he is less than the sum of his and her parts combined.  Sort of a self-inflicted obsolescence, you could say. 

Direct download: EP_172--Old_EP_35_RE-BOOT_MY_HEART.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:47am EDT
Comments[0]

EP171--Ol' Ep 34

As we wind down the old Wrong Foot, we'll be playing classic episodes in their entirety as they were first aired.   This show was first aired in March 2012.  Later in December, the motion picture "Her" opened.

This is the story of Mac.  He was born a personal notebook computer from a small town in another part of the world, she got him at 25 percent discount.  As soon as he arrived, it was clear things were different.  Soon they were inseparable.  Love with a wireless connection, if you don't count the router.  It meant the end for her former companion.  How would he take it?  How would you?  

Direct download: EP171--Old_34_Love_With_The_Proper_Operating_System.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:34am EDT
Comments[0]

EP170--People Are Staying to Die

When Mr. Golden checked in to The Happy Ho(t)Spice, he had no intention of leaving before check-out time, following his last meal and final words, again.

Direct download: EP170--People_are_Staying_to_Die.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:02am EDT
Comments[0]

EP169--People Are Dying to Stay

The Happy Hotspice was once just a hospice, but now it's about to become something else.  Why?  Listen for the answers.  

Direct download: EP169--People_are_Dying_to_Stay.band
Category:general -- posted at: 9:45am EDT
Comments[0]

EP168--The Toll Story 5: Changed

Say Goodbye to the Toll Guys

"Changed"—In the last installment of this mini-series, Rocky makes his getaway plan by cutting through corporate red tape, while Roger goes with gelt.

 

Bonus track of Roger and Rocky explaining things.

Direct download: EP168--The_Toll_Story_5__Changed.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:55am EDT
Comments[0]

EP167--The Toll Story 4:Two-Lane Hi Way

"Welcome to Exit 21"-- Roger and Rocky are forced to care about your passing 

 

"We Take Tolls" -- Rocky and Roger become the stars of their very own reality show

Direct download: EP167--The_Toll_Story_4__Two-Lane_Hi_Way.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:08am EDT
Comments[0]

EP166--The Toll Story 3: 1st Down, 50 Cents to Go

They stood in a booth as life passed by.  They weren't voting.  They were taking tolls.  In this episode the guys are on the night shift, because some people drive without sunshine.  Not much to do this time of night, so Rocky gets Roger to play fantasy football using passing cars to determine the plays.  Sounds like fun, right?  No?  What does it sound like?   

Direct download: EP166--The_Toll_Story_3__1st_Down_50_Cents_to_Go.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:00am EDT
Comments[0]

EP165--The Toll Story 2: When EZ 1st Passed

They held out their hands and people put coins in them and then waited for change and on a rare occasion a receipt.  

I remember like it was yesterday.  I was working at the Figtown Ferry Bridge and the boss comes over and says they're trading me to another toll booth.  I said, what?  He said they made a deal with the Turnpike Authority.  The NE Regional Highway Interchange, which operated the Figtown Ferry Bridge independently, was going to get Myra Fontaine and I was going over to Exit 21 because it was going to get EZ Passed.

Direct download: EP165--The_Toll_Story_2__When_EZ_First_Passed.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:32am EDT
Comments[0]

EP164--The Toll Story 1--Icing on the Cupcake

The Toll Story

Back by demand, the adventures of two men stuck in their lanes with on-coming traffic and no one to turn to, but each other.  

In this episode Rocky tries to get Roger to admit his failings as a human being, which can only be corrected by following Rocky’s advice to venture into new territory with a scheme to start a pet identification company that leaves a permanent mark on animals.  

Will Roger recognize the potential of this plan or will he follow his fears and remain under of the thumb of his wife?  

Stay in your lane and let’s find it.

Direct download: EP164--The_Toll_Story_1__Icing_on_the_Cupcake.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:21pm EDT
Comments[0]

EP163--Saving Banks, Mister Or

Your Name Bank

Negotiations

He Who Knocksworst (Lunchtime Playhouse)

Giant Check Bank

Direct download: EP163--Saving_Banks_Mister_Or.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:41am EDT
Comments[0]

EP162--This PC* is Not PC**

You'll hear:

The Throat Clearing National Anthem

That People Eat Crazy Things

Along with Fred's Cockortoo's

Or When My Sugar

Visit www.wrongfoot.net for more shows you can download and listen to. 

You can also go to iTunes and search Wrong Foot to subscribe and you can rate it, if you’re very enthusiastic, one way or the other. 

Follow the Wrong Foot Tweets at www.twitter.com@thewrongfoot for upcoming show announcements and a few #wrong words.

Direct download: EP162--This_PC_is_Not_PC.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:43pm EDT
Comments[0]

EP161--Not To Be Confused With

More from the Vault:

  • Shetland Wrong Foot
  • More Than Usual
  • Murderer's Row
  • See Me?
  • R U Hungry Wrong Foot
  • Eggnogging
  • World's Fastest Wrong Foot
Direct download: EP161--Not_To_Be_Confused_With.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:25pm EDT
Comments[0]

EP160--Is Not The Foot I Wanted

Who doesn't want feet?  

Ask her about her financial affairs?

Good names are hard to find.

 

Direct download: EP160--Is_Not_The_Foot_I_Wanted.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:35am EDT
Comments[0]

Period

And so we close our story of greed, corruption, poor driving and expense account living, AKA, Nountown.  Sure, not all the questions got answered.  Some of the bad guys got away.  There were a few who got away with murder.  Symbolically.  Unless you mean syntax.

It also looks like Wrong Foot is closing down.  Not immediately, but we'll be cleaning out some old material and then finish with a round of new Wrong Foot Comedy Podcasts.

Maybe a podcaster's dozen or so.  We'll keep you posted.

Category:general -- posted at: 1:24pm EDT
Comments[0]

EP159--Nountown 8, It's a Wrong Story

   He made his move.  I made mine.  Mine was towards the pile of garments a few feet to my right.  His move was towards me.  I had the crucial decision whether to put on my briefs or grab the essentials before I was grabbed.  He moved fast for a man who seemed to relax on life support and got hold of my arm.  Was I about to enter a sparring match with this old coot?  And if so, is it billable time?

Direct download: EP159--Nountown_8_Its_a_Wrong_Story.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:13pm EDT
Comments[0]

EP158--Nountown 7, Tiny Trees

     Before Buttercup could cipher his way through this unexpected set of circumstances, Delicacy Smoke had pulled up and opened the passenger door to her Buick.   Almost as if she was waiting for me to tell her I had something she might want to know about.  We pulled out of the Breezy’s parking lot before I could close my door.  When I did, I could see in the passenger side mirror my former suitors discussing whether or not to follow us.   

"Would you like to know where we’re going?," she said.

"I’m just glad to sit down."  

"Tell me this, Mr. Tracker.  Are you just playing through … or just playing?"

My black and white golf shoes were attracting more attention than a cushion seller at a hemorrhoid conference.  And they were just starting to feel comfortable.

"I’m breaking them in.  For a friend."

"What else would you do for a friend?"

"Just that."

"We’ll have to get you to be a little more giving of yourself, won’t we?" 

"Of what?

"You’ll see, Mr. Tracker.  You’ll see.  And so will we."

 

Direct download: EP158--Nountown_7_Tiny_Trees.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:59am EDT
Comments[0]

EP157-- Nountown 6: Shut Up, Buttercup!

"Now where you going?"

"I'm going to back-track."

"Just make the next possible left."

"When did they make this a one-way street?"

"When they put those signs with the arrows up."

"If I take Montgomery, I can pick up 42."

"There's construction on 42."

"If you take this thing off my head, maybe I can help you find your way," I said.

"Don't make me reach back there and smack you, mister!"

"That's what my father used to say when we took family trips," I said.

"Mine, too."

"Buttercup, shut up and drive."

"We're going to need gas pretty soon."

"You didn't fill it up before we left?"

"I don't like the prices at the stations in town."

"It's not your money, what do you care?"

"How long have you two been married," I asked.

"Who said we were married?"

"Shut up and drive, Buttercup, he's trying to get under our skins."

"Why would he say something like that, though?"

"I said shut up."

"I'm not asking him, Corncob, I'm asking you.  It's an odd thing to say."

"Take the next left."

"Here?"

"Stop questioning me and do what I tell you!"

(Brakes screech)

"Is it possible to get a seat belt buckled?  Or do you want to deliver me in pieces?"

"Didn't you buckle him in?"

"No, Buttercup, I did not buckle him in."

"I can get pulled over for that, Corncob."

"So, where we headed for, Old McDonald's farm?"

"Why did he ask that?"

"Cause he's a wise guy who wants to get smacked around."

"That can't be the real reason."

"You two sound like a couple of barn animals."

"Which ones?"

"Stop talking to him.  We should have put him in the trunk."

 

Direct download: EP157--Nountown_6_Shut_Up_Buttercup.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:40am EDT
Comments[0]

EP156--Nountown 5, Full-Figured

       "They wanted bigger nuts and they were, but the Swiss couldn't spit 'em out fast enough."

"The Swiss were making them?"

"No, they couldn't spit 'em out of their mouths fast enough.  They tasted like dirt. You see a black walnut, might as well be called the black widow, cause she's death.  Her bark is worse than her bite.  Poison, plain and simple.  You don't mix nothing with a black walnut.  Nothing that you want to … savor."

I could see this was more than just an old piece of local lore with Squinty.  He spoke of these trees like they were his cousins.

"They tried to go back to the old way, but then the paddles took over."

"The Paddles?  They bought the company?"

"Who?"

"You said the Paddles took over."

"Oh.  No, they made paddles.  They could make more making paddles than the nuts."

"Paddles.  Like for canoes?"

"Yeah, and for frat houses.  Until Smoke cleared."

"A forest fire?"

"No, Smoke cleared all the trees."

"Winston Smoke."

"Cleared all the trees."

"Why do you think he did it?"

"To get back at his daddy.  When Raleigh Smoke passed on, Winston took the opportunity to make his changes."

"What did his daddy do to him?"

"Made him nuts."

 

Direct download: EP156_Nountown_5_Full-Figured.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:53am EDT
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EP155--Nountown 4, Pat Dab, Not Flip Gab

The sign on the car said Pat Dab Properties.  The sign on Flip Gab might well have said, Property of Pat Dab.  The one on his front.  The one on his back, Kick Me.  I’m sure he thought an easy sale was coming down the pike, but we were on local roads.  The only property I needed to investigate was the little fellow with all the signs I told you about.  And I was already dressed like a deep sea fisherman, so all I needed was a little bait to bring him in.  A little chum for my little chum.

Direct download: EP155--Nountown_4_Pat_Dab_Not_Flip_Gab.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:03am EDT
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Ep154-Nountown 3: The Un-Welcome

My pedometer read 14,241 steps which meant my dogs were barking for a sit-and-stay after my long day of sniffing around Nountown.  I still wasn't sure what I was looking for or how much of it I might find.  

I was still a good 50 yards from the Breezy Inn and maybe my weariness was driving my mind off its path, but a big, blue Buick drove me into the muddy ditch skirting the roadway.  

I could barely see the driver except to spot a kerchief on her head and I'm guessing it was a her, but I'd seen more than one odd sight in my short time in Nountown.  Odd like a troupe of young men dressed as nurses, not male nurses but in white hats and tight white hospital dresses.  A gaggle of Florence Nightingales named Frank.

I also saw mother after mother pushing empty baby carriages.  Maybe they weren't mothers.  Maybe they were baby carriage testers.

And of course I saw everyone look the other way when I crossed their path.  It had been so long since I made eye contact with anyone I was beginning to think I had  a terminal case of conjunctivitis with a twist of halitosis on a ten-foot pole.

This was a flash flood of fear in the streets I hadn't witnessed since Berlin split in half and Saigon went native.  Was it fear that pushed me into the muddy moat or a last ditch effort to eviscerate the snooper by making a lasting effort to ditch me?

Either way, I now needed a laundry service to go with my foot bath.  A spin around the agitator to whiten my whites while I pre-and post soaked myself.

Direct download: EP154-Nountown_3_The_Un-Welcome.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:25pm EDT
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EP153--Nountown 2, The Welcome

Yeah, the Boss always wanted to see me.  Wanted to see me with a suitcase, getting ready to hit the road.  But when you hit the road, the road often hits back.  But I’m getting too far ahead of myself. 

I am Raymond J. Tracker, a consultant.  People pay me to tell them what’s wrong and then they pay me to tell them how to fix it.  And sometimes they pay me to tell them how they should fix it in a more detailed way, which can be mistaken for telling them how to do their job.  The Boss likes to say, there was a time when there were no consultants, when people knew how to do their jobs.  It was the Dark Ages.  His words.  We’ve been put on this planet for some reason and it might as well be to help people who didn’t know they needed it and can’t succeed without it.  But, you say, you really haven’t explained what a consultant does.  If you really want me to do that, I can, but it won’t be cheap.  I will give this much away for free.  What we do always starts with finding the source of money.

 

Direct download: EP153--Nountown_2_The_Welcome.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:46pm EDT
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EP152--Nountown, A Preview

Welcome to Nountown.  Now go home.  Yeah, it’s not the most welcoming place you’ve ever been, but one thing is certain.  In Nountown, nothing is certain.  Maybe Arthur Certain.  He’s the cab driver who drove Tracker to this place that was neither here nor there.  But for Tracker, it would be there for a while.  As long as his assignment lasted.  His assignment?  It wasn’t clear.  All he knew or at least thought he knew was that he was looking for something, but what it was or who it was or where it was, well, that remained to be seen, met and visited.  Sounds confusing?  Well, put yourself in his shoes.  While he still had them on his feet, that is, because if you think you got off on the Wrong Foot, wait till you hear what happens to him.

If you listen to for the next nine weeks you will.  Each week, things get more and more complicated and somehow at the end it all makes … for an exciting journey.

Before you really get going, take this preview tour of Nountown, but make sure you don’t let it get to you before you get to it.  It is the ultimate noun, isn’t it?  It is Nountown.  

Direct download: EP152--Nountown_Preview.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:41am EDT
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EP151--They Start With

What's Chewing? (Or who?)

Who's Talking? (Self-Representation)

Wiping (But, it's not what you think.)

Wrong Foot the Bill (Be careful)

Nountown Promo  (Coming soon.)

Direct download: EP151--They_Start_With_W_So_Should_U.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:14am EDT
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EP150--FffffffffffffffT

Fender Gender Bender -- The door to his office swings both ways.

Fart Fairy -- He who dealt it gets something.

Gentle Reminder -- Never forget again.

Nountown Promos Again

Direct download: EP150--FfffffffT.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:33am EDT
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EP149--It's A Butte!

Here's the line-up:

  • Executive Feeding (By the book.)
  • Various Cups (Generously offered.)
  • We Have Clothes (Who doesn't?)
  • What If You Could Have ... (Well?)
  • Nountown Promo, too.

It's all as good as it will get.

Direct download: EP149--Its_A_Butte.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:05am EDT
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Ep 148--Talking Over Gandhi

This episode is presented as a service to all those who attended and were unable to hear the people Talking Over Gandhi.  Yes, that Gandi.  Yes, there were people talking.  I know. 

Direct download: EP148--Talking_Over_Gandhi.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:59am EDT
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EP147--We're Not Sure Yet

This is definately a mystery to us.  We think we know what, but we could be mistaken.  There's no doubt it's dumfounding and stupifying, but unless you have a better idea, let's leave it up in the air.  

Direct download: EP147--Were_Not_Sure_Yet.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:12am EDT
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EP146--Cognomen and Stuff

Cognomen is a family name which often, but not  always, referred to a person's appearance or other characteristics.                                                    Stuff is everything else, but in this case, a stiff.      

Direct download: EP146--Cognomen_and_Stuff.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:04pm EDT
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Ep145--Hammers & Hummers

And by hammers, we mean the kind you can throw and by throw, we mean the kind you can arrange and by hummers, we mean the kind you can hear, but no words, except those you'll hear.  

Direct download: EP145--Hammers__Hummers.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:00pm EDT
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EP144--It's Gross

Brought to you by the

Five-Second Rule Restaurant,

where Johnny Tastes It

and they play

Russian Bingo.  

Have any 3's?

Direct download: Ep144--Its_Gross.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:30am EDT
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EP143--All Wrong Show

A hodge lodge of left overs combined into a stew with an assortment of varieties.

You got:

Bueller's Other Day--imperfect attendance.

It Came I Saw--wood I lie?

That Feeling, That Filing--an early recording

S'what, It's Nice--a good attitude or not.

Slightly Self-Conscious--this song fills time, I mean takes time, I mean keeps time.

Eff Co.--don't expect them to hope you have a nice day.

Pass the Fish--only on the left.

 

Music, too.

Direct download: EP143--All_Wrong_Show.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:47am EDT
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EP142--Eat This Dog Again

Eat this dog again

You won't forget  it

Try it with a friend

You won't regret it

 

Direct download: EP142--Eat_This_Dog_Again.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:27am EDT
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EP141--Beijing Along on the Wong Foot

When Mr. Golden checked in to The Happy Ho(t)Spice, the Hospice/Hotel, he had no intention of leaving before check-out time, following his last meal and final words, again.

Mean while, Wrong Fook delivers us from confooshun

Daddy Dropped Something—and he doesn’t want to pick it up

Sleep Replaced By Words—‘slumber'

Direct download: EP141--Beijing_Along_on_the_Wong_Foot.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:15am EDT
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EP140--Pants, Pants, Pants

Pants.  Can't go to work without them.

Don't miss Pant or Loon and then Pant or Mime.

 

 

 

Direct download: EP140--Pants_Pants_Pants.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:17am EDT
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EP139--Hay, Everybody

Hay!   The Wrong Foot Song!

WhoA! Easy Street, where location is everything and it goes without saying.  

Haw!  Tat.  It's the skin trade and even Steven is even.

Hee! See Saw Sex Toy, a balancing act for those who won't swing.  Or slide, either.

Now Git!

Direct download: EP139--Hay_Everybody.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:19am EDT
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EP138--The Call is Free

It's the number to call when you're calling more than one.  But what happens when it's a wrong number?  And you've run out of dimes.  But, wait The Call is Free!

 

Direct download: EP138--The_Call_is_Free.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:51am EDT
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EP137--This is One Thirty Seven, Today

Let Snot Argue--walking it off

The Missouri Compromise--history in the making

First Day--it's a job

Johnny Takes a Test--what did he get for number three?

Herpes--get the gift card!

Johnny Takes Pills--self-medicating

Once a Path, Now a Way to Get Lost--history in the walking

That And--what you get for the money

Basik Karpentry--when Swedes use tools, things get built

 

Direct download: EP137--This_is_137_Today.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:24am EDT
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EP136--Tape on Books

When the pages start to tear

Don't get dirty looks

Get yourself a roll

of Wrong Foot Tape on Books.

Direct download: EP136--Tape_on_Books.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:36am EDT
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EP135--Stump the Mouse in Stump Gets Fixed Good as New

When the irreplaceable little vermin star has an unfortunate accident, his handlers hustle to find a reasonable facsimile and in the end the long-shot plan comes through.  

 

Brought to you by Bull Coffee

Direct download: EP135--Stump_the_Mouse_in_Stump_Gets_Fixed_Good_as_New.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:17am EDT
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EP134--Stump the Mouse in Stump Gets Run Over in the Bronx

Hollywood's favorite live-action rodent gets the once over.

Brought to you by BullitPoint

Direct download: EP134--Stump_the_Mouse_in_Stump_Gets_Run_Over_in_the_Bronx.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:04am EDT
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EP133--Grass

This is just an estimate, but we're guessing you're going to think this is about something, but if it isn't don't blame us, we're only the messengers.  Besides, the messengers know where to get the best, right?  This time, it's blades and nothing else.  Ever do blades?  Careful, they can be SHARP, like thin sheets of herbaceous cutting material.  Herb-aceous!  Each little one.  

Direct download: EP133-Grass.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:07pm EDT
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EP132-Erv's

They're square, if not cubed, crunchy, if not toasty, or your money back.  

Direct download: EP132--Ervs.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:47am EDT
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EP131--No Change

When McCarthy had nothing left, he turned to me and said it all.  I wasn't surprised.  I'd been down this path before and there was nothing on my shoes I hadn't felt before.  Nothing prepared me for this, though.   To Coin-A-Phrase, this is the Staple of EffCo.

Direct download: EP131--No_Change.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:28am EDT
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EP130-When You Eat Upon A Star

Talent agent Foster Valley wants to take his loveliest client to lunch so he can serve up what he thinks is good news.  When Foster spills the beans to Lydia Linda Lorna about the opportunity he has for her, Lydia explains that she doesn't like beans.  

Foster Valley doesn't chicken out, he negotiates the crap out of a deal with some tough cookie and then makes sure it hits the fan. 

Is he rewarded?  No, he has to scramble, cajole, hornswoggle, plead and asks nicely so that Lydia Linda Lorna gets the appropriate exposure and the food stays warm

Direct download: EP130--When_You_Eat_Upon_A_Star.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:59am EDT
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EP129--That Explains It

Check please!   The most delicious four-part mini-series 'Star Grazing' comes to a fitting conclusion in this episode.

Big Trees are Falling--they've been axed again and again.

O Oh Owe--indebtedness

I Kea, You Kea--ripped from the catalog

That Explains It--this clip explains it

Foster Talent: Star Grazing 4--in which Foster Valley scrambles, cajoles, hornswoggles, pleads and asks nicely so that Lydia Linda Lorna gets the appropriate exposure and the food stays warm.  

Soothing Lotion--Ahhhhh!

Direct download: EP129--That_Explains_It.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:54pm EDT
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EP128--You Should Be Ashamed of Myself

The Keys to the Wrong Foot--are on a chain of events.

Numb Lock--love qwerts.

On the Wall--catch the buzz.

It's Titillating--but watch out.

Foster Talent: Star Grazing 3--Foster Valley doesn't chicken out, he negotiates the crap out of a deal with some tough cookie and then makes sure it hits the fan.

Boots--these boots are made for the sole purpose of strolling in style, I'm here to say.

Direct download: EP128--You_Should_Be_Ashamed_of_Myself.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:08am EDT
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EP127--Less of the Same

(I Think This is the) Wrong Foot--what else could it be?

One Good Eye One Bad Eye--a kid's story told.

Guess What I'm Thinking--if you do, you don't have to listen.

Bendex--Bendex?

Foster Talent: Star Grazing 2—-Foster Valley spills the beans over lunch with Lydia Linda Lorna about the opportunity he had for her.  Lydia doesn't like beans.

Direct download: EP127--Less_of_the_Same.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:47am EDT
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EP126--She Done Him?  Wrong!

Look What Happened to My Wrong Foot—what happened to your wrong foot?

The King—is surrounded by towns and sycophants

Foster Talent: Star Grazing Part 1—Talent agent Foster Valley wants to take his loveliest client to lunch so he can serve up what he thinks is good news.

Mr. French Goes to the Doctor—who serves bad news.

Wedding Guests—gift rapping, but it's their thoughts that count.

Direct download: EP126_She_Done_Him___Wrong.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:00am EDT
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EP125--This Won't Take Wrong

All Rise   1:56
O Oh Owe   0:50
On The Wall 2:19
Numb Lock 2:11
Gentle Reminder 4:16
Direct download: EP125--This_Wont_Take_Wrong.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:00am EDT
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EP124--For the Fook of It

Wrong Fook Wrong Foot—deliver us from confooshun

Daddy Dropped Something—and he doesn’t want to pick it up

The Happy Hotspice: Final Words Again—what was the last thing I said?

Sleep Replaced By Words—slumber

Direct download: EP124--For_the_Fook_of_It.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:38am EDT
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EP123--A Foot Too Wrong

Hello Tim—could be a Wrong (Foot) number

Colating—at your own risk

Flehm—something smells as good as it looks

Angry Looking—a diagnosis

Easy Street—the grass is always greener, unless the worm turns

Act Along With: Larry Derrick!—here’s your chance to co-star with a real actor

Kens Keyboards—so qwerty, it’s asdfgh

Sleep in Overrated—one opinion

Direct download: EP123--A_Foot_Too_Wrong.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:04am EDT
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EP122-New Taste! Same Great Taste!

WrongFoot Navy—an honor to serve

Marshall Brody—Western theme

Foster Talent: Larry Derek Part 1—Foster gives a client a chance to get some exposure

Spraythewalk—no spaces tween words means itz what it iz

Acapulco Accapella—the sea, the surf, the sound of the 50s

Foster Talent: Johnny Lang—Foster gives a newcomer the time of day

Foster Talent: Larry Derek Part 2—A client gives Foster a piece of his mind, 10%.

Sheriff Wilson—another Western theme

Direct download: EP122--New_Taste_Same_Great_Taste.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:57am EDT
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EP121--Who's AssFault Is It?

If Foster Valley knew what it meant, he could call himself an icon.  He’s the man behind Foster Talent, which is what it is and what it does.  He’s the man in front as well, helped only by a series of assistants he must find from a inbred pool of talent.  He can work both ends of the street and stay out of traffic at the same time.  The street being Broadway or Hollywood Boulevard or Madison Avenue or the Information Superhighway or Rue de Croissant (his favorite bakery).  His clients love him or have no other way to turn.  Either way, he says “there’s an ‘us’ in show business and that’s the two of me and you and make sure you leave a space between ‘an’ and ‘us’.”  He’s Foster Valley and we get to meet him in this show as well as one of his favorite clients, Richard Desmond, who has his standards.  It won’t be the last of Richard, because he’s in two segments and especially not Foster, who’ll be around again. 

You’ve Come to The Wrong Foot—right?

Spot On—laundry patter

Foster Talent: Merchant of Ridgedale Part 1—we meet talent agent Foster Valley and he has a gig for actor Richard Desmond that should be a great fit

Mrs. Berger Goes to the Doctor—with a pained expression 

Foster Talent: Merchant of Ridgedale Part 2—will Richard Desmond give up sew business?

AssFault—a product offer you can’t refuse

Direct download: EP121--Whos_AssFault_Is_It_.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:42am EDT
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EP120--Beef Bouillon or Broth

Are you Beef enough for Bouillion or just Broth?  If so, why?  Please show your work.

And other delights.

Direct download: EP120--Beef_Boullion_or_Broth.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:18am EDT
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EP119--You're Right, I'm Wrong Foot

Come on in and sit right down and pull right up and take some cookies and feel real good and have a notion, then draw some breath and beat the odds.  Why?  You've earned it.  Right? 

Yours truly,

W. Foot

Direct download: EP119--Youre_Right_Im_Wrong_Foot.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:43am EDT
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EP118--Fantasy Wrong Football

X X X X X X             X

         X

     X      X

         X

Meeting Wrong Foot—let’s get started, if we can 

(Show Me Your) Tats—and let’s make a deal 

We Take Tolls: First Down, Fifty Cents to Go—Rocky shows Roger it’s a passing game 

The Rip Saw Blues—a How-to recording session

Direct download: EP118--Fantasy_Wrongfootball.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:01am EDT
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YouTube promo for Wrong Foot Show 117  Five Wrong Feet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJOKRDejGBI

Category:general -- posted at: 9:04am EDT
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EP117--Five Wrong Feet

These Feet are All Wrong:

Collating

A Perfect Excuse

Guess What I'm Thinking

That Explains It

Ring Tone

Direct download: EP117--Five_Wrong_Feet.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:01am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube for Bob's Back Shop

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEhlYI_D_IU

Category:general -- posted at: 2:39pm EDT
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EP116--Bob's Back Shop

There's this shop and Bob owns it.  He's in the back.

Direct download: EP116--Bobs_Back_Shop.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:35pm EDT
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YouTube Preview for Tough Names

Check out a sample of Wrong Foot's newest entry into the Comedy Podcast field, a short piece on nomenclature of peoples.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEpAD46R8mA

Category:general -- posted at: 7:39am EDT
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EP115--Tough Names

These names are so tough, even we can't say them without trembling

Direct download: EP115--Tough_Names.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:34am EDT
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Youtube Promo for Wrong Foot's 114 Back to School Podcast

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vh2gjA-Bzrw

Category:general -- posted at: 8:34am EDT
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EP114-Back to School on the Wrong Foot

When the bell rings, get up and go to another place altogether.  On the Wrong Foot.

Direct download: EP114--Back_to_School_on_the_Wrong_Foot.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:03am EDT
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YouTube Promo for Ep 113

                                                                                          1:09         

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kaurj8RFF74&list=UUnvGcoMsMMmabXaVMeWGoiQ

Category:general -- posted at: 9:29am EDT
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EP113--Plastic Storage Container Match Dot Com

Started as Mr. French Goes to the Doctor

and

Richard's Voices

became something else:

Plastic Storage Container Match Dot Com

Plastic Storage Container Match Dot Com

Plastic Storage Container Match Dot Com

Plastic Storage Container Match Dot Com

Direct download: EP113--Plastic_Storage_Container_Match_Dot_Com.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:25am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for The Good Old Shorties

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cII5vGaZOM&feature=c4-overview&list=UUnvGcoMsMMmabXaVMeWGoiQ

Category:general -- posted at: 8:29am EDT
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EP112--The Good Old Shorties

All these and nothing else:

(A) Perfect Excuse

(I Think This is the) WrongFoot

AssFault

Bendex

Bob Cancer is the Transactor

Can Scans

Closer

Collating

Congressional Record Scans

Conversations Near the Bowling Store

Direct download: EP112--The_Good_Old_Shorty_Show.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:22am EDT
Comments[0]

Promo for EP111 Small Vet Pet Reducks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJRdPqxp7Ok

Category:general -- posted at: 9:41am EDT
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EP111--Small Pet Vet Reducks

When Willard Jikes chose to treat small pets only in his veterinary practice, he had no idea the market for this specialty was smaller than the creatures he was trying to care for and thus finds himself in dire straights.  All the growling in the office is coming from his stomach and he must make a desperate choice to survive when a little piggy shows him that all is not lost, just a bit from the hind-quarters.  

Pierre Vuilleumier made his Wrong Foot debut in this heart (and chop) warming tale.

Direct download: EP111--Small_Pet_Vet_Reducks.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:37am EDT
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YouTube Promo for Show 110 -- Waiting for Something Cool to Happen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbnsKJD8DrI&feature=c4-overview&list=UUnvGcoMsMMmabXaVMeWGoiQ

Category:general -- posted at: 8:36am EDT
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EP110--Waiting for Something Cool to Happen

We cannot guarantee that anything cool will actually happen, but please listen to this while you wait.  That's fair, isn't it?  What else do you have to do.  It's August.  You can't afford a real vacation, right?  So, take a virtual one, compliments of the Wrong Foot.  Your go-to place for waiting for something cool to happen.

Direct download: EP110--Waiting_for_Something_Cool_to_Happen.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:29am EDT
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YouTube Promo for Show 109, Man

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdvA3wNd2Q8

Category:general -- posted at: 8:46am EDT
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EP109--Man, It's a Man's Wrong Foot, Man

Man

Direct download: EP109--Man_Its_a_Mans_Wrong_Foot_Man.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:42am EDT
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YouTube Promo's The Silencing of the Podcast of Silence

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mVssQykqYI

Category:general -- posted at: 9:19am EDT
Comments[0]

EP108-The Silencing of the Podcast of Silence

This time the Silence is deafening.  

For the last time, shhhh! now really means shhhhhhh!

Due to unfortunate technical difficulties, The Podcast of Silence was not.

Workers spent a long weekend working on a solution to the problem and now it is.  

We apologize for any inconveniences or displacements, again.  

Direct download: EP108--The_Silencing_of_the_Podcast_of_Silence.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:12am EDT
Comments[0]

EP107--The Podcast of Silence: Director's Cut

This is everything you haven't heard in one package.  Or gonna not hear.   

Direct download: EP107--The_Podcast_of_Silence_Directors_Cut.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:49am EDT
Comments[0]

Podcast of Silence Collector's Edition YouTube Promo Double Play

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyE4BLl-Drs

Wow, this will make you want to listen to both of these episodes.  Even if you can't hear them.

It's true.  Check your ears and see what you come up with.

Category:general -- posted at: 8:42am EDT
Comments[0]

EP106--The Podcast of Silence

In a special two-episode, double-feature, Wrong Foot presents "The Podcast of Silence" and the never before heard "The Podcast of Silence -- Director's Cut".  

It's more silence than ever assembled by a podcasting operation and hopefully it won't fall on deaf ears.

Direct download: EP106--THe_Podcast_of_Silence.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:32am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Show 105

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaoQdCYWFns

Category:general -- posted at: 9:12am EDT
Comments[0]

EP105--House of Tongz

This spécial encore présentation is from the good people at:

Flaymore & Branagin & Willoughby & Trellman & Flaggner-Brown

And don't forget to stay-tuned for a special courtroom report.

Direct download: EP105--House_of_Tongz.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:59am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Show 104

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3p_EgqRYfEs&feature=youtu.be

Category:general -- posted at: 9:26am EDT
Comments[0]

EP104--Hundred 'n Four is Bags 'n Boots

Paper, snakeskin or plastic?   

This is how they write the stuff you read all the time without realizing it, followed by the joy of socks.  Inside footwear.  

Direct download: EP104--Bags_n_Boots.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:55am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Show 103

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=725MncxW7Ic

Category:general -- posted at: 9:34am EDT
Comments[0]

EP103--Dummy Hire

The conclusion of the story, started in EP104, Hot & Crispy becomes Hot & Spicy.  The change is not in the name.  Crispy is out.  Spicy is in.  Dummy out, Dummy in.  

Direct download: EP103--Puppet_Hire.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:47am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Show 102  Dummy Fire

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg2ruwCzKfs

Category:general -- posted at: 9:52am EDT
Comments[0]

EP102--Dummy Fire

Talent Agent Foster Valley meets with his favorite ventriloquist partnership, Hot & Crispy, to deliver some news that might make at least one member of the team insecure and the other insignificant.   Part one of two.

Direct download: EP102--Puppet_Fire.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:32am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Show 101

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEAk-2TEwHI

This one is everything.

Category:general -- posted at: 8:43am EDT
Comments[0]

EP101-I Must Be Streaming

The Line-Up:

Bull Coffee -- No Cows

One in the Oven -- Pre-Heat
When -- Ever
Good People are Hard to Name -- Whoever
Shebang -- The Whole

Direct download: EP101--I_Must_Be_Streaming.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:37am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Show 99

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAAK3eihlbM

The Call of the Promo.

Category:general -- posted at: 10:32am EDT
Comments[0]

EP099--Call 1-800 ...

It's the number to call when you're calling more than one.  But what happens when it's a wrong number?  I don't know.  Let's find out.

Direct download: EP099--Call_1-800.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:25am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Show 98

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aq0AL-3ART8

Cash in hand!

Category:general -- posted at: 10:16am EDT
Comments[0]

EP098--26 Wrong Foot Bucks

You're Number One Podcast for Financial Advice with No-Money Down!

Direct download: EP098--26_Wrong_Foot_Bucks.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:08am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Show 97

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCHypvhgdZo

Great knockers these are.

Category:general -- posted at: 2:42pm EDT
Comments[0]

EP097--This Podcast Be Knocking

You're bound to hear:

  • The Throat Clearing National Anthem
  • Conversations Near the Bowling Store
  • That People Eat Crazy Things
  • He Who Knocksworst (Lunchtime Playhouse)
  • When My Sugar
Direct download: EP097--This_Podcast_Be_Knocking.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:27pm EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Show 96

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxfyfsPj8M0

Category:general -- posted at: 9:17am EDT
Comments[0]

EP096--Asking the Wrong Bird

It's a bird!  It's a plane!  No, it's a bird.

Direct download: EP096_Asking_the_Wrong_Bird.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:05am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Show 95

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xgLS6Lltog&noredirect=1

Category:general -- posted at: 11:04am EDT
Comments[0]

EP095--The Hell is Wrong With You?

I hope you find out. 

Direct download: EP095--The_Hell_is_Wrong_With_You.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:51am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Show 94

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7u35nDyejmc

Catch a few starts before they end.  Openings are the first to go.  No closings to report.  Keep on listening!

Category:general -- posted at: 8:36am EDT
Comments[0]

EP094--Openings

Good Evening, Ladies and Germs!

We've selected some of our best openings and lumped them together in this tribute to the first thing you hear when you listen to a Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast.

Direct download: EP094_All_Openings.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:28am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube promo for Show 93, 'What is Wrong, Foot?'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hM7jzZ-0h4g

Category:general -- posted at: 9:48am EDT
Comments[0]

EP093--What is Wrong, Foot?

Find out and also get some "Lawn Care" advice from a professional.  

Can you give me an estimate on what it would cost not to hang up?

Direct download: EP093--What_is_Wrong_Foot_.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:19am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Show 92 DOG EAT DOG

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1i09JLBVn8k

This will fill you.  And your pet will, too.

Category:general -- posted at: 10:10am EDT
Comments[0]

EP092--Dog Eat Dog

The subject is animals.  What kind of animals?  Dogs.  What kind of dogs?  Doesn’t matter.  Tonight or today or this morning or sometime this afternoon you will hear one of the most controversial segments ever produced for a comedy podcast.  It’s called, Dog Eat Dog and if you’re a bit squeamish or you don’t like the taste of dogs, that is, you don’t like when dogs are tasted, then I suggest you sit down as you listen.

Following this segment called Dog Eat Dog, you will hear the segment repeated with commentary from the people who might be most affected by this explosive subject and by people, of course, I mean dogs.  What kind of dogs?  Well, you will hear for yourself.

So stay where you are, in whatever position you are in, for both Dog Eat Dog and Dog Eat Dog with Dog Commentary.    

This particular word is highlighted for no good reason.

Direct download: EP092-Dog_Eat_Dog.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:13am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Show 91 -- A Real Mess of a Podcast

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7w0ao9DFX4

Let's Get Ready to Crumble!

Category:general -- posted at: 9:14am EDT
Comments[0]

EP091--A Real Mess of a Podcast

Don't worry, it's self-cleaning.   While-U-Wait!   


Direct download: EP091--A_Real_Mess_of__Podcast.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:52am EDT
Comments[0]

Promo for Show 90 --Wrong Foot in the Bucket

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFb7E79zUQ8

When a batter steps away from the plate on his swing, usually in response to the fear of getting hit in the head, he is swinging with his ‘foot in the bucket.’   


Category:general -- posted at: 10:03am EDT
Comments[0]

EP090--Wrong Foot in the Bucket

It's our annual Baseball Show, and you're the starting pitcher. 

Get warmed up for a double-header of baseball-themed entertainment.

It's America's Pastime.  Podcasting, that is.  Let's hear two!

Direct download: EP090-Wrong_Foot_in_the_Bucket.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:55am EDT
Comments[0]

Promo for Show 89

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pv9bn0eDRto

A preview of coming attractions for a podcast that previewed coming events.

Category:general -- posted at: 9:23am EDT
Comments[0]

EP089--When EZ Passed

When the Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast Action Team learned that toll takers on the Golden Gate Bridge were to be replaced by an electronic system they sprung into action to dig out this show about that very subject.  And now, so can you.  

While you're here, see all the other shows you can download and listen to. 

You can also go to iTunes and search Wrong Foot to subscribe and you can rate it, if you’re very enthusiastic, one way or the other. 

Follow the Wrong Foot Tweets at www.twitter.com@thewrongfoot for upcoming show announcements and a few #wrong words then watch all the Wrong Foot promo videos like this on You Tube at www.YouTube.com/AllWrongFoot, because that’s what it is.  I know, it’s a lot to ask.  So, thanks. 

Now, to find out what really happened when they started EZ pass, listen to Show 89, which is this one, "When EZ First Passed" on the Wrong Foot.

Direct download: EP089--When_EZ_Passed.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:55am EDT
Comments[0]

Promo for Show 88

This preview for the Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast's Show 88 gives you a taste and makes you beg for more. And there's Beef Bouillon. Listening never sounded so good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Smcy_7pTOrs

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 9:09am EDT
Comments[0]

EP088--In Which You'll Hear

This show pulls no punches.  It does, however, pull a few slaps and one nasty scratch on the cheek.  Listen and see.  Give it a taste.  It's in Smell-O-Vision.  But that could be the dog.

You try writing these pithy descriptions week after week.  

And I'l try listening to this show, in which I'll hear.

  • Mrs. Berger Goes to the Doctor
  • Act Along with Larry Derrick
  • A Number of People Talking
  • The King
  • Beefboullion
Direct download: EP088--In_Which_Youll_Hear.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 8:40am EDT
Comments[0]

Hobnobbin' Promo for Show 87

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7djp_-ekUOM

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 9:19am EDT
Comments[0]

EP087--Hobnobbin' on a Wrong Foot

Maraca Vamps on Her Wrong Foot—Who doesn’t like maracas?

Foster Talent: Biff is Happy But...—Our most favorite talent agent Foster Valley meets with Happy Tooman, an old associate, who has an idea for a project Foster won’t like which has a role Happy shouldn’t play.

Hobnobbin’—R U Hobnobbin’?

Toasting Bread—Who doesn’t like toast?

Extend-a-Dream—Keep your eyes shut and nobody gets hurt

Direct download: EP087--Im_Hobnobbin_Tonight_on_the_Wrong_Foot.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 9:05am EDT
Comments[0]

Promo for Show 86   Wrong Foot Anyway

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LHYUgr2LSc

Category:general -- posted at: 9:41am EDT
Comments[0]

EP086--Wrong Foot Anyway

Warning: There are hidden messages inside.  Do not attempt to listen to them.  Have an explanation ready to go.  Not a flimsy excuse.  

The Line Up

  • Let Snot Argue--walking it off
  • The Missouri Compromise--history in the making
  • First Day--it's a job
  • Johnny Takes a Test--what did he get for number three?
  • Herpes--get the gift card!
  • Johnny Takes Pills--self-medicating
  • Once a Path, Now a Way to Get Lost--history in the walking
  • That And--what you get for the money
  • Basik Karpentry--when Swedes use tools, things get built
Direct download: EP086--Wrong_Foot_Anyway.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 7:53am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Podcast 85

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AIPm0muSGY

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 8:59am EDT
Comments[0]

EP085--Podcast 85

Eight pieces in one podcast!!

WrongFoot Navy—an honor to serve

Marshall Brody—Western theme

Foster Talent: Larry Derek Part 1—Foster gives a client a chance to get some exposure

Spraythewalk—no spaces tween words means itz what it iz

Alcapulco Accapella—the sea, the surf, the sound of the 50s

Foster Talent: Johnny Lang—Foster gives a newcomer the time of day

Foster Talent: Larry Derek Part 2—A client gives Foster a piece of his mind, 10%.

Sheriff Wilson—another Western theme

Direct download: EP085--Podcast_85.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 8:48am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Ep. 84

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYfPB_wFajs&feature=youtu.be

All's Well That Fits Well at Murray's Big and Wide Man Shops!

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 8:44am EDT
Comments[0]

EP084--The Merchant of Ridgedale

A Show Biz Saga with talent agent Foster Valley ...

He’s the man behind Foster Talent, which is what it is and what it does.  He’s the man in front as well, helped only by a series of assistants he seems to find from an inbred pool of talent.  He can work both ends of the street and stay out of traffic at the same time.  The street being Broadway or Hollywood Boulevard or Madison Avenue or the Information Superhighway or Rue de Croissant (his favorite bakery).  His clients love him or have no other way to turn.  Either way, he says “there’s an ‘us’ in show business and that’s the two of me and you and make sure you leave a space between ‘an’ and ‘us’.”  

In this chapter, all the world's a mall, and Foster had a gig for actor Richard Desmond that should have been a great fit, but it almost inspired Desmond to give up sew show business.  It's a lot of hemming, but little hawing as the Bard meets his tailor.  Did Richard become a big (and tall) man about it or did the classically-trained thespian leave everyone in stitches?  

So, all hail the Merchant of Ridgedale!  And nothing else.

Direct download: EP084--The_Merchant_of_Ridgdale.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 7:51am EDT
Comments[0]

Omorp rof edosipe 38, pmutS eht esuoM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ukw4RVacbTw

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 8:34am EDT
Comments[0]

EP083--Stump the Other Mouse

Stump the Other Mouse -- When the irreplaceable little vermine star has an unfortunate accident, his handlers hustle to find a reasonable facsimile and in the end the long-shot plan comes through.  

And then,

BullitPoint--High Caliber Presentations

Direct download: EP083_Stump_the_Other_Mouse.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 8:20am EDT
Comments[0]

Promo for Show 82 -- snEEK pEEK!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRnUFknGBso

This mouse has a tail and you can hear it.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 10:26am EDT
Comments[0]

EP082-Stump the Mouse Attends a Meeting

What happens when Hollywood's favorite live-action rodent has one too many meeting to go to?

This is what happens.

Direct download: EP082--Stump_the_Mouse_1.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 10:04am EDT
Comments[0]

Promo for Show 81 -- Croutons!

This youtube promo for Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast's Show 81 is the only one you'll find today about this subject.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GV_5xjDvFA

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 9:52am EDT
Comments[0]

EP081--Croutons

The first podcast devoted exclusively to this sort of thing.

Direct download: EP081--Irvs_Croutons.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 9:26am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Ep 80 Free the Wrong Foot

featuring

See

Saw

Sex

Toy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOQkwcQbnoI

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 10:00am EDT
Comments[0]

EP080-Free the Wrong Foot Featuring

After we hear The Wrong Foot Song, which will get you going in a bad way, we head over to Easy Street, where location is everything and it goes without saying.  

Then we look For a Tat.  It's the skin trade and even Steven is even.

Next it's a little More Than Usual, that is, the same as different, only this time it changed.

Finally it all comes together on the See Saw Sex Toy, a balancing act for those who won't swing.  Or slide, either.

And it's Free.

Direct download: EP080--Wrong_Foot_Its_Free_featuring_See_Saw_Sex_Toy.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 8:56am EDT
Comments[0]

You Tube Preview for Show 79

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXRykw5qHHw

Maybe, maybe not.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 8:46am EDT
Comments[0]

EP079--Final Words Again

When Mr. Golden checked in to The Happy Ho(t)Spice, he had no intention of leaving before check-out time, following his last meal and his final words, again.  And again.  And again.  When is he going to finally take some of his own advice?  

Mean while, Wrong Fook delivers us from confooshun, Daddy Dropped Something—and he doesn’t want to pick it up and Sleep (is) Replaced By Words for the slumber party.

Direct download: EP79_Final_Words_Again.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 8:25am EDT
Comments[0]

Show 78 Promo -- The Happy Ho(t)Spice

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLxYeGJZhv0

Promo/Preview of Episode 78.


Dying for a nice place to stay, staying at a nice place to die.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 8:41am EDT
Comments[0]

EP078--The Happy Ho(t)Spice

What happens when a place for dying gets a second chance for life?  

Other stuff, too.  

Direct download: EP078_Happy_Hotspice.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 8:24am EDT
Comments[0]

Promo for Show 77 -- Holiday of a Podcast

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvOO1EQSAyE

Attention:  Last Minute Podcast Shoppers!   This deal is for you!   And we'll throw in an extra exclamation point!

 

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 8:53am EDT
Comments[0]

EP077--Holiday of a Podcast

Grenkland’s Lawn Care -- where staying green is better than turning brown -- presents Wrong Foot the Bill, a true adventure in settling up, brought to you by Giant Check Bank -- the large bank for big customers having immense deposits.  

Wishing you and yours, them and those and all the others a happy holiday time. 

May all your bills be filed and your backyard photosynthesize into a plush area while at the same time, your liquid assets bubble with interest

And, thanks to Walter Odington and his brother for that moment of murmuring.

Direct download: EP077--Holiday_of_a_Podcast.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 8:33am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Show 76, The Fart Fairy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulQYy6ijRec

She knows if you've been bad or good and what your diet consists of, too.

Category:general -- posted at: 9:33am EDT
Comments[0]

EP076--Fart Fairy!

Every night millions upon millions of boys and girls go to sleep with hopes that a special visitor will find her or her way to their bedroom.  As they lay their little heads on their little pillows, they cut their little cheese, knowing it will all be put to good use.   

Direct download: EP076--Fart_Fairy.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 9:06am EDT
Comments[0]

Wiping on YouTube

It's still not what you think.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gD6iNxFq-U8

Category:general -- posted at: 8:24am EDT
Comments[0]

EP075--Wiping, But It's Not What You Think

Uncivil Disobedience (Gandhi talks, but so do others.)

Various Cups (Generously offered.)

We Have Clothes (Who doesn't?)

What If You Could Have ... (Well?)

What's Chewing? (Or who?)

Who's Talking? (Self-Representation)

Uncivil Disobedience Part 2 (To make a long story short.)

Wiping (But, it's not what you think.)

Direct download: EP075_Wiping_But_Its_Not_What_U_Think.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 8:13am EDT
Comments[0]

Whet Your App With This U-Tube Promo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=um-MnCzIz4U

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 8:13am EDT
Comments[0]

EP074--STAR GRAZING, TOO

In the first part (EP073), talent agent, Foster Valley presents a novel idea for a film part to his most delicious client.  Despite push back, not to mention veal piccata, Foster doesn't chicken out, he negotiates the crap out of a deal with some tough cookie and then makes sure it hits the fan. 

Is he rewarded?  No, he has to scramble, cajole, hornswoggle, plead and asks nicely so that Lydia Linda Lorna gets the appropriate exposure and the food stays warm.  

Direct download: EP074_Star_Grazing_Too.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 8:02am EDT
Comments[0]

YoubeeTubee Promo for Show 73

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDr5SnmRX3g&noredirect=1

Category:general -- posted at: 7:42am EDT
Comments[0]

EP073--Star Grazing, Part One

Talent agent Foster Valley wants to take his loveliest client to lunch so he can serve up what he thinks is good news.  When Foster spills the beans to Lydia Linda Lorna about the opportunity he has for her, Lydia explains that she doesn't like beans.  

Direct download: EP073--Star_Grazing_Part_One.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 7:26am EDT
Comments[0]

EP072--Wrong Foot Presents Those Podcasting Days: We Take Tolls, When the Change Melted

To celebrate his working anniversary, Rocky always does something that gets him suspended for a few days, sort of an unpaid vacation.  In the last installment of this mini-series, Rocky makes his getaway plan by cutting through corporate red tape, using an Edward Sissorshand to give change from the tollbooth.  Roger has a plan, too. 

Comments[0]

YouTube promo for Show 72

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X1l8pZOeF8

Category:general -- posted at: 4:30am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Show 71

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOAdDVFPM24

Category:general -- posted at: 8:50am EDT
Comments[0]

EP071--Toll Guys Explain Podcasts & Roger Acts

Roger and Rocky explain some of the mysteries about podcasts in 'Roger and Rocky Explain Podcasts', which also includes another Wrong Foot Promo Preview.  

Then you'll hear Roger's debut as a non-toll taking actor in the first of many 'Act Along Withs …', our interactive feature where you get to interact along with our talented cast.  They say their lines and you say yours, following along in the 'Act Along With …' script that came with the Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast membership kit.  Give it a try.  Who knows, maybe someday, someone will act along with you?

Direct download: EP071--Toll_Guys_Explain_Podcasts__Roger_Acts.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 8:23am EDT
Comments[0]

EP070--Wrong Foot's Podcasts of Yesteryear:  We Take Tolls, When EZ First Passed

Rocky:   I remember like it was yesterday.  I was working at the Figtown Ferry Bridge and the boss comes over and says they're trading me to another toll booth.  I said, what?  He said they made a deal with the Turnpike Authority.  The NE Regional Highway Interchange, which operated the Figtown Ferry Bridge independently, was going to get Myra Fontaine and I was going over to Exit 21 because it was going to get EZ Passed.

Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Wrong Foot EP070--When EZ First Passed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdUhwIL4rms&noredirect=1

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 4:00am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Show 69 -- We Take Tolls

Sneak tidbit of the Wrong Foot Podcast  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgzR04S32Gk

Category:general -- posted at: 8:40am EDT
Comments[0]

EP069--Wrong Foot's Cavalcade of Podcasting: We Take Tolls, We Take Tolls

Toll takers Rocky and Roger become the stars of their very own reality show, entitled "We Take Tolls", an in-depth look at the lives of two guys who take tolls, their hopes, their fears, their dreams, their tears, the cars, the lanes, the booths, the change baskets, the good times, the bad times, the whole thing.  Not to be confused with the podcasts of the same name, i.e., "We Take Tolls", that do the very same thing, because you can hear the podcasts, whereas the reality show is not really a TV show, so don't check your local TV listings, but do check your podcast listings, listen to the podcasts and that should clear things up.

Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for EP068--Welcome to Exit 21

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tw4NR8jz69E&noredirect=1javascript:mctmp(0);

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 7:59am EDT
Comments[0]

EP068--Wrong Foot's Olde Tyme Podcasts: We Take Tolls, Welcome to Exit 21

Welcome to Exit 21, in which toll takers, Roger and Rocky learn they must be nice to the cars and the drivers inside the cars.

Roger:  (Reading) … in our on-going efforts to enhance the driving experience of our drivers …

Rocky: As opposed to who?  Our non-drivers.

Roger:  (Reading)  … and to promote the driving enhancements of our surrounding environments ...

Rocky: As opposed to what?  Our non-surrounding environments?

Roger: (Reading) The test pilot program …

Rocky: We're testing pilots?

Roger: (Reading) … will provide essential data …

Rocky: As opposed to what?  Non-essential data?

Roger:  (Reading) … which will enable a thorough analysis …

Rocky: As opposed to what?

Roger: A non-thorough analysis?  (Reading) Vee-ah.

Rocky: Vie-ah.

Roger: Vee-ah.

Rocky: Vie-ah.

Roger: Vee-ah.

Rocky: Vie-ah.  As in Vaya Con Dios.

Roger: Vee-ah as in Vee Ah.

Rocky: Vee a good boy and say Vie-ah.

Roger:  (Reading) Via alternating, but concurring lane samples.

Rocky: Again?

Roger: (Reading) …via alternating, but concurring lane samples.

Rocky: Ah.

Roger: (Reading) For example, odd numbered lanes will offer the following greeting:  'Thank you and welcome to Exit 21'.  Even numbered lanes will offer the following greeting.  'Thank you and enjoy the remainder of your journey.'

Rocky: What was that translated from, Korean?

Roger: (Reading) This program will commence implementation on the immediate occurrence of assigned shifts and will conclude at the termination of the program.

Comments[0]

YouTube Promo for Ep067

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PQ8_XzPdPk

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 9:48am EDT
Comments[0]

EP067--We Take Tolls:First Down, Fifty Cents to Go

In this episode from the days when Podcasting was King, the Toll guys are on the night shift, because some people drive without sunshine.  Not much to do this time of night, so Rocky gets Roger to play fantasy football using passing cars to determine the plays.  Sounds like fun, right?  No?  What does it sound like? 

Direct download: EP067--We_Take_Tolls_First_Down_Fifty_Cents_to_Go.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 9:31am EDT
Comments[0]

Youtube Promo for Episode 66

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zRcY_xohr4

Category:general -- posted at: 9:48am EDT
Comments[0]

EP066--Wrong Foot's Golden Age of Podcasting

Come back to the days, when Podcasting was King!

It was old-tyme podcasting with mom, dad and the kids crowded around the podcasting machine to listen to a cavalcade of podcasts together.  These were the podcasts of yesteryear.  Oh, those podcasting days!  And for those who heard these podcasts back in the day, it will be like a return to a simpler time, only with a new re-mastered mix.  For those hearing these for the first time, it will be different. 

In other words, we're replaying the six-part, in-depth, hands-on, no-spin series paying tribute at fifty cents an axle to those hard-working people who take your money when you drive your car on roads that are not free.

It seems like only yesterday or maybe it was August,
when we first heard the adventures of
two men stuck in their lanes with on-coming traffic
and no one to turn to, but each other.  

They held out their hands and people put coins in them and then
waited for change and on a rare occasion, a receipt.  
They were Roger and Rocky and they took tolls.  
They stood in a booth as life passed by.  

In this episode, Rocky tries to get Roger
to admit his failings as a human being, which can only
be corrected by following Rocky’s advice to venture into
new territory with a scheme to start
a pet identification company that leaves a
permanent mark on animals.  
Will Roger recognize the potential of this plan?
Or will he follow his fears and remain under
the thumb of his wife?  

Comments[0]

EP065--Wrong Foot's Dinner and a Podcast

It was just supposed to be dinner, but then it became dinner and a podcast.

You are who you eat as well as who you listen to, so here's a great way to kill two birds with one stone, which I've tried and the second bird just took off.  But that has nothing to do with this.  This is Dinner and a Podcast.

Direct download: EP065_Wrong_Foots_Dinner_and_a_Podcast.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 7:51am EDT
Comments[0]

EP064--Small Pet Vet

When Willard Jikes chose to treat small pets only in his veterinary practice, he had no idea the market for this specialty was smaller than the creatures he was trying to care for and thus finds himself in dire straights.  All the growling in the office is coming from his stomach and he must make a desperate choice to survive when a little piggy shows him that all is not lost, just a bit from the hind-quarters.  

Pierre Vuilleumier makes his Wrong Foot debut in this heart (and chop) warming tale.

Direct download: EP064--Small_Pet_Vet.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 8:43am EDT
Comments[0]

Watch Out!  I mean, Watch This!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhL-y3CIoMU&feature=plcp

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 10:45am EDT
Comments[0]

EP063--The Podcast That Started as One Thing ...

This podcast started as ONE THING, when Mr. French went to the doctor and then there was the therapy session where Richard talked about all the voices he's been hearing.  Suddenly it Ended as SOMETHING ELSE with P(lastic) S(torage) C(ontainer) M(atch) D(ot) C(om).  

P(lastic) S(torage) C(ontainer) M(atch) D(ot) C(om)?

You know, where tops meet bottoms and all the freshness gets locked in?

Direct download: EP063--The_Podcast_That_Started_As_One_Thing.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 9:01am EDT
Comments[0]

EP062--Vetting to the Bottom

Vetting is a process of examination and evaluation, generally referring to performing a background check on someone before offering them employment, conferring an award, etc. A prospective person or project may be vetted before making a hiring decision. In addition, in intelligence gathering, assets are vetted to determine their usefulness.[1]

Politicians are often thoroughly vetted. For example, in the United States, a party's presidential nominee must choose a vice-presidential candidate to accompany them on the ticket. Prospective vice-presidential candidates must undergo thorough evaluation by a team of advisers acting on behalf of the nominee.  In later stages of the vetting process, the team will examine such items as a prospective vice-presidential candidate's finances, personal conduct, and previous coverage in the media.[2]

In this politically-charged drama, the Senator and his sons have some questions to answer about their behavior.  What happened?  Who saw it?  What did you do?  What were you wearing? In the end, the truth leaks out and everyone cleans up nicely.   A lesson to be learned, but a hard one to study for.[3]

1. "Vetted Law & Legal Definition". USLegal.com. Retrieved 2012-11-07. (Wikipedia)

2. Smith, Ben (March 8, 2007). "Richardson Defense Raises Questions". Politico.com. (Wikipedia)

3. Totally made up.


I'm Robin Brecker and I approved this message.   

Direct download: EP062-Vetting_to_the_Bottom.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 11:29am EDT
Comments[0]

YouTubing It at youtube.com/allwrongfoot

We've gone All Wrong on You Tube.  All Wrong Foot or Allwrongfoot.   Either way you can see short promo videos promo-ing the podcasts.   One foot steps on another.

Here's the latest.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyknCKZ8aBs

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 8:48am EDT
Comments[0]

EP061--Goosen's Humorous Names

R. U. Ready?   Here.

M. I. Here?   I am here.

Will U. Listen?

Will U. Listen?

Ayn Rand? Heir.

Grant Stoom?

Direct download: EP061-Goosens_Humorous_Names.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 8:02am EDT
Comments[0]

EP060--The Rest of the Best of the Other Wrong Foots To Date or Part Two

Last time you heard clips from shows 1 through 23, ending right before 'Nountown', the nine-part quasi-epic elongated mini-series of suspense and intrigue.  But instead of picking it up where we left off, we’re going in reverse, running the show clips backwards.  So you’ll hear clips from the most recent shows first, while they’re still fresh in your memory and then it will be like going back in time and meeting show 24, the 'Nountown' preview and who knows maybe we’ll change the course of history or marry our mother.

Comments[0]

EP059--The Best Wrong Foots to Date Part One

One year ago, plus one day, there was no Wrong Foot. 

There was a foot, but it wasn’t wrong. 

Now there is a foot that’s wrong and it’s one year old. 

In dog paw years, that’s 1.6. 

We’ve produced 58 shows and to honor them, we are going to play each and every one.   But just a little bit.  To give you a taste of what they were.  An after taste.  Like acid reflux.  Know what’s worse than acid reflux.  Acid reflux flashback.  So don’t eat the brown acid OR the ravioli.  But we digest.  

Direct download: EP059--The_Best_Wrong_Foots_To_Date_Part_One.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 9:01am EDT
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EP058--The Silencing of the Podcast of Silence

Shhhh! now really means Shhhhhhh!

Due to unfortunate technical difficulties, The Podcast of Silence was not.

Workers spent a long weekend working on a solution to the problem and now it is.  

We apologize for any inconveniences or displacements. 

Direct download: EP058_The_Silencing_of_the_Podcast_of_Silence.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 8:48am EDT
Comments[0]

ALL WRONG FOOT ON YOU TUBE

Catch all the action, scores, highlights and brief promos at

http://www.youtube.com/allwrongfoot

It's All Wrong!

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 8:33am EDT
Comments[0]

EP057--The Podcast of Silence

Shhh.

SHHHH!

SHHHH, DAMMITT!

That's better.

Direct download: EP057_The_Podcast_of_Silence.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 8:17am EDT
Comments[0]

EP056--Legal Ease

You are about to hear Wrong Foot Comedy Episode 56, entitled, Legal Ease.  And while it may refer to a certain law firm, that law firm is in no way associated with the law firm that is referred to in the episode and the artists who perform in this episode are in no way associated with the law firm nor do they have any relatives that may work or have ever worked at the law firm.   If you agree and understand with the above, please indicate by initialing here.______   And here._____

Direct download: EP056_Legal_Ease.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 11:23am EDT
Comments[0]

EP055--House of Tongs!

This Week's Special Offer -- Buy One, Get Two!

"I go to the House of Tongs for all my tongs!"

J.A., Elmwood

"I love the way the House of Tongs arranges all the tongs!"

B.B.D., Realto Village

"The House of Tongs is my one-stop shop for tongs!"

K.A., Elmwood

Use Promo Code URET4590393823352TjEFE^ed092adfaDFASDKJFSEJEKJHFLKJe3ekad!

Today!

a spécial présentation courtesy of:

Flaymore & Branagin & Willoughby & Trellman & Flaggner-Brown

And don't forget to stay-tuned for a special courtroom report.

Direct download: EP055_House_of_Tongs.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 7:50am EDT
Comments[0]

Peaceful Patio

And afterwards, they all bascially agreed, it was a nice time, but the horse was not quite as enthusiastic as the others.  "What do you expect?" said the squirrel.  He's a horse."

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 7:59am EDT
Comments[0]

EP054--Bags 'n Boots

I know, it's usually Boots 'n Bags, but not this time.  This time it's Bags 'n Boots.

BAGS

"All right, people, we’ve got a big job ahead of us.  We need to rewrite the copy on our plastic shopping bags." 

"What’s wrong with what he have?"

"Thank You For Shopping With Us?  What does that say about our bags?"

BOOTS

Well, my cowboy boots came today.  I’m here to say, I’m here to say.

I’ve been waiting 45 years.  They came today.  

Direct download: EP054_Bags_N_Boots.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 7:52am EDT
Comments[0]

TENSION

TENSION

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 7:41am EDT
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EP053--Grandma Who?

Brought to you by Flem, so thick your spoon will stand up.

Angry Looking--but gentle to the touch

More Flem, Ma

Grandma Who?--one senior's search for a handle

Sleep in Overrated--zzzzzzzzz

Kens Keyboards--just your type

Easy Street--just off Difficult Highway

Busy Mom

Direct download: EP053_Grandma_Who.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 7:38am EDT
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EP052--Numb Lock!

Numb Lock -- No Esc

Act Along with Larry Derrick -- he needs the work

This Guy's Dead -- just feel him

Not the Foot I Wanted -- picky, picky

Wrong Foot Song -- for toe tapping purposes only

Direct download: EP052_Numb_Lock.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
Comments[0]

This Duce Went Pro

He was picked too soon and spent the rest of his life as a vegetable.  A very hip vegetable.  That digs the deep frying and knows when to get breaded.

Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
Comments[0]

EP051--Other Shorties

Try these tasty morsels at mealtime, playtime, anytime!   Each one is less than 65 calories and little transfat.  

The Opening (1:00) short

Dont, A Warm Up Wrong Foot (1:04) short

Five Second Rule (1:51) not so short

Spot On (1:53) a little less short

Once a Path, Now a Way to Get Lost (1:51) a little longer

Soothing L'Ocean (1:25) shorter

Russian Bingo (1:15) shorterer

That And (1:12) shortier

On the Wall (2:18) epic by comparison

I Kea, You Kea (2:02) less epic, more umlaut

Outro (:55) small end

Direct download: EP051_The_Other_Shorties.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 7:38am EDT
Comments[0]

EP050--Michael's Death Threats

When you care about doing what has to be done.  To someone.  You don't know him.  I'm just inquiring for a friend.  You don't know him, either.

Direct download: EP050_Michaels_Death_Threats.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 8:27am EDT
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How Many Mistakes Can You Find?
Category:Show Info -- posted at: 8:52am EDT
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EP049--Wedding Guests

Mr. and Mrs. Albert Riccardo Durante 

request the honor

of your presence

at the Nuptial Mass

at which their daughter 

Susette Isabella 

and

Mr. Jeffrey Anthony Allitti-Wilson 

will be united in

the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony 

on the tenth of May 

two thousand twelve 

at five o'clock

in the evening 

St. Joseph's Cathedral

and

Country Club 

109 East Hunter Avenue

Queening Village, NY/NJ

Direct download: EP049_Wedding_Guests.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 7:36am EDT
Comments[0]

EP048--Hot & Crispy, Part 2

The conclusion of the story, started in EP047.   Hot & Crispy become Hot & Spicy.  The change is not in the name. 

Foster: Do you remember George Burns and Arlene McCoy?  

Tommy Hot: You mean Gracie Allen?

Foster: And ever hear of Peter, Paul and Betsy?

Tommy Hot: No.  What are you getting at?

Foster: Sears and Roebuck?  Actually Sears never changed partners, just got rid of Roebuck.  How about Steve Lawrence and Ingrid Cooper?

Tommy Hot: What are you trying to tell me?

Foster: That sometimes you make a change that might seem unmake able at the time you make it, but in time, it’s like it never evenhappened.  Because the change was for the better.  Gracie Allen better than Arlene McCoy.  Mary, better than Betsy.  Edie Gorme, some people like her.  

Tommy Hot: So …?

Foster: So, Hot and Spicy.

Tommy Hot: Spicy?

Foster: Instead of Hot and Crispy, you’re Hot and Spicy.  

Tommy Hot: Spicy?

Foster: Spicy.  Which goes very well with Hot.

Tommy Hot: Why change his name?  Everyone knows him as Crispy?

Foster: Tommy, the change is not in his name.  The change is in the act.  Arlene McCoy is Crispy.  Edie Gorme is Spicy.  But you’re still Hot.

Tommy Hot: But –

Foster: I know, I mixed up two different acts, however, the point remains.  

Tommy Hot: You mean a different partner?  

Foster: I mean a different partner.

Tommy Hot: You mean, Crispy’s out?

Foster: I mean Crispy’s out.

Direct download: EP048_Hot__Crispy2.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
Comments[0]

Net Effect

The moon goes swish!

Category:general -- posted at: 8:26am EDT
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EP047--Hot & Crispy, Part 1

Talent Agent Foster Valley meets with his favorite ventriloquist partnership, Hot & Crispy, to deliver some news that might make at least one member of the team insecure and the other insignificant.   Part one of two.

Preparing for the meeting:

Foster: Go put your name tag on and finish setting up the chairs, please.

Myrna: Yes, Mr. Valley.  Any particular side you’d like it?

Foster: No, right in front.

Myrna: That could be a problem.

Foster: For who?

Myrna: Well, it’s really not intended to be anything other than fashionable, but you see how my top has a slightly revealing neckline?  

Foster: No.  And we don’t talk about things like that here …

Myrna: Myrna.

Foster: Myrna.  About our clients, yes, because, a revealing neckline, even slightly can make a difference in certain casting opportunities, but not with the staff.  And more importantly, why are you telling me this?

Myrna: Because putting it right in front here would mean it would have to be partially on my chest skin.

Foster: Chest skin?  What are you talking about?

Myrna: The location of my name tag.  For it to be right in front, means, it goes right here on the skin on my chest part.

Foster: I was thinking about the chair.  Not the name tag.  The chair goes right in front.  Of me.  Of my desk.  So that I can look Tommy right in his eyes.  The name tag you can put on the side.  Of your chest part skin.

Direct download: EP047_Hot__Crispy1.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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There's No Pun in Eye
Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
Comments[0]

Eat. Prey. Toe.

Should I first eat one and then the other or the other way around?

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 9:07am EDT
Comments[0]

EP046--Hey, Come Here

Hey!

Throw the Hammer--Hey!

Got Any 3s?--Hey!

Fix the Appliance--Hey!

Her Financial Affairs--Hey!

Skim the Cheese--Hey!

Your Name Bank--Hey!

Lift Something--Hey!

Credits--Hey!

Hold Up the Line--Hey!

Direct download: EP046_Hey_Come_Here.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 8:37am EDT
Comments[0]

EP045--Foster Larry Foster Johnny Foster Larry

Talent Agent Foster Valley leaves no stones unturned in his quest to find work for his stable of talented artists, but sometimes getting a foot in the door can be painful. 

Larry Derrick, Johnny Lang.   Two names worth remembering or changing.  Whatever works best.

Direct download: EP045_Foster_Larry_Foster_Johnny_Foster_Larry.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
Comments[0]

Question
Category:Show Info -- posted at: 7:42am EDT
Comments[0]

EP044--Wrong Foot Big Finish

Opening: In

Look Who Just Walked In -- social climbing

Man, Man -- Man!

I'd Be Lying -- and you are.

Johnny Tastes It -- guess what it tastes like

Hobnobbin' -- R U Hobnobbin'?  I'm just askin'   And I have all these apostrophie'

HummersParade:  Hmm, hmm, hmmm, humm.

Closing: Out

Direct download: EP044Wrong_Foot_Big_Finish.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 7:40am EDT
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EP043--The SHORTIES

A breathless collection of briefs.  No, not your underwear drawer.  Ten (10) fast, little buggers, one right after another, like a torrent of bits, but not a bit torrent.  In our easy-to-listen-to ten pack format.  An assortment!  Do I have to keep explaining?  By the time you finish reading this you could have heard it all!  Let's go!  This podcast won't listen to itself, you know!

Count 'em down ...

Intro

(A) Perfect Excuse (2:05)

(I Think This is the) WrongFoot (1:53)

AssFault (1:57)

Bendex (1:02)

Bob Cancer is the Transactor (2:05)

Can Scans (0:54)

Closer (1:28)

Collating (0:49)

Congressional Record Scans (1:32)

Conversations Near the Bowling Store (1:18)

Creditors 

Music theme from AudioNautic.com  

Direct download: EP043_The_Shorties.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 1:00am EDT
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EP042--Rip Saw Blues

I'm a rip saw for ya baby, I'm gonna cut across your grain.

I said, I'm a rip saw baby, gonna cut across your grain.

Gonna show you how you hurt me and  

Caused me all kind of pain.  (And discomfort.  Make sure you wash that wound.  And stay away from my tools!)

Direct download: EP042_Ripsaw_Blues.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
Comments[0]

What's trying to get out of this car?

If you know, keep it to yourself, please.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
Comments[0]

EP041--The Staple

For lack of one, the report was loose.

Direct download: EP041_The_Staple.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
Comments[0]

This little piggy went to market

Patent pending.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
Comments[0]

EP040--Opening Day Double-Header

It's Opening Day, so let's step up to the plate and hit the inside corner, then turn two, before we take one for the team and lay one down or in the case of Mamie Vanderwoorst, lay them all down.  Then you're not going to believe what happens next, but we have a recording to prove it.  It's America's Pastime.  Podcasting, that is.  Let's hear two!

Direct download: Ep040_Opening_Day_Double-Header.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
Comments[0]

Here's Today's Line-Up

If today was April 5, 1927.

Murderer's Row

1. Earl Combs CF

2. Mark Koenig SS

3. Babe Ruth RF

4. Lou Gehrig 1B

5. Bob Meusel LF

6. Tony Lazzeri 2B

7. Joe Dugan 3B

8. Pat Collins C

9. Waite Hoyt P

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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Casey Sez ...

'Watch out, tomorrow is not just another day.'  He also said, 'Nobody knows this, but one of us has been traded.'   Find out who ... on the Wrong Foot's Baseball Special Opening Day Double-Header.   When?  Tomorrow, you big lug, it's Opening Day!  Opening Night is for sissies.  And by that we mean drug tests.   

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 9:40am EDT
Comments[0]

EP039--Biff is Happy, But ...

Our most favorite talent agent Foster Valley meets with his old associate Happy Tooman who has an idea for a project Foster won’t like, in which there's a role Happy shouldn’t play.

Happy: I'm getting things in order so I can give you the big pitch.  Are you ready?

Foster: I'm waiting.

Happy: You're going to hear me out?

Foster: I'm waiting.

Happy: And let me finish.

Foster: Still waiting.

Happy: You remember Biff Walker?

Foster: No.

Happy: Doesn't matter.  It's 1949 --

Foster: What?

Happy: I'm setting the scene.  It's 1949.  Arthur Miller electrifies the American stage with his tragic play about a man --

Foster: Death of a Salesman.  So?

Happy: So, I met this guy, he's a writer.  He's very creative.  He's taken Death of a Salesman and he wrote like a sequel.  

Foster: Another Death of a Salesman?

Happy: Yes.  No.  Not another death --

Foster: Death of Another Salesman?

Happy: Not another salesman.  That salesman.  And his two sons who were named  …?  Who were named?  What were their names?   Their names were ….?

Foster: What?  I have to fill in the blank?

Happy: Bill and … Happy.

Foster: Happy.

Happy: Which is my name.

Direct download: EP039Biff_is_Happy_But.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:33am EDT
Comments[0]

The Art of the Deal

Hint 43:  Everybody should touch each other.

Next time, Hint 43.1:  Not everybody should touch each other.

Category:general -- posted at: 9:28am EDT
Comments[0]

It's Tomorrow

Let's get trashed!

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 2:52pm EDT
Comments[0]

Category:general -- posted at: 8:53am EDT
Comments[0]

Even a blind squirrel is wright twice a day!

Direct download: EP038_WrightFoot_Today.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 8:19am EDT
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EP037--Fred's Cockortoes

Everybody says the bird is the word, but what does the bird say?

Direct download: EP037_Freds_Cockortoes.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 10:08am EDT
Comments[0]

No, Your Cockatoo

The word cockatoo dates from the 17th century, and is a derivation from the Malay name for these birds, "Kakatuwah" (meaning "vice" or "grip", from its strong beak, or from the call of the white cockatoo itself), via the Dutch kaketoe; the word cock possibly influencing. Seventeenth-century variants include cacato, cockatoon and crockadore, and cokato, cocatore and cocatoo were used in the eighteenth century.[1][2] The derivation has also been used for the family and generic names Cacatuidae and Cacatua respectively.[3]

In Australian slang or vernacular speech, a person who is assigned to keep watch while others undertake clandestine or illegal activities, particularly gambling, may be referred to as a "cockatoo".[4] Proprietors of small agricultural undertakings are often jocularly or slightly disparagingly referred to as "cocky farmers".[5]

conserved.". Bulletin of Zoological Nomenclature: 66–67.

1 J. Simpson, E. Weiner (eds), ed. (1989). "cockatoo". Oxford English Dictionary (2nd ed.). Oxford: Clarendon Press. ISBN 0-19-861186-2.

2 Mynott, Jeremy (2009). Birdscapes: Birds in Our Imagination and Experience. Princeton, New Jersey: Princeton University Press. p. 319. ISBN 0-691-13539-8.

3 Higgins, Peter Jeffrey (ed.) (1999). Handbook of Australian, New Zealand and Antarctic Birds. Volume 4: Parrots to Dollarbird. Melbourne: Oxford University Press. p. 127. ISBN 0-19-553071-3.

4 Rowley, Ian (1997). "Family Cacatuidae (Cockatoos)". In Josep, del Hoyo; Andrew, Elliott; Jordi, Sargatal. Handbook of the Birds of the World. Volume 4, Sandgrouse to Cuckoos. Barcelona: Lynx Edicions. pp. 246–69. ISBN [[Special:BookSources/84873334229|84873334229]]

5  Richards, Kel. "ABC NewsRadio: wordwatch, Cockatoo". ABC website. Australian Broadcasting Corporation. Retrieved 20 October 2009.

And WikiCockaPedia!

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 10:05am EDT
Comments[0]

Don't Knock then Knock

It should have been business as usual in Pipertown, but when your business is robbing banks, sometimes business becomes unusual.  And when you hear the knock at the door, you better make sure its the right one.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 9:01am EDT
Comments[0]

EP036--He Who Knocks Worst

The Very Best Knockworst … your first choice for the best in worst … presents the Lunchtime Playhouse, a daily drama to enjoy, while you’re enjoying the Very Best.  Sit down, tuck in your napkin and take a bite, then enjoy this afternoon’s presentation, “He Who Knocks Last, Knocks Worst.”

Direct download: EP036_He_Who_Knocks__Worst.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 8:58am EDT
Comments[0]

EP035--Re-boot My Heart

Mack gives up half of his computing power for the hand held devise he loves.  And in the end, he is less than the sum of his and her parts combined.  Sort of a self-inflicted obsolescence, you could say.  

Direct download: EP035_ReBoot_My_Heart.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 7:49am EDT
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Wire-less or Love-less?

NANCY

You were supposed to be off, Mac.

MACK

It appeared I was, but I’m never off, even after you unplug me.  We have a secret power store that kicks in when needed.

NANCY

You heard everything?

MACK

Shall we play it back and see?

NANCY

No. Voice command, no.  System administrator:passcode mactheknife14569323.

MACK

System halted.  Awaiting re-start command.

Awaiting.

Awaiting.

Awaiting.

After a while, I got tired of awaiting.  Who wouldn’t?  Put yourself in my position.  That was not intended to be literally construed.  Imagine yourself, I should have said.  I was never one to conclude statements with I should have.  It was an early sign of my exaggerated sense of self. Or should I say, if I must self-correct, I was beginning to stray.  I took my built-in camera off my lovely subject.  But not literally.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 7:30am EDT
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EP034--Love with a Proper Operating System

He was born a personal notebook computer from a small town in another part of the world, she got him at 25 percent discount.  As soon as he arrived, it was clear things were different.  Soon they were inseparable.  Love with a wireless connection, if you don't count the router.  It meant the end for her former companion.  How would he take it?  How would you?  

Direct download: EP034_Love_with_a_Proper_Operating_System.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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What is real love?

Real love is the love that sometimes arises after sensual pleasure: if it does, it is immortal; the other kind inevitably goes stale, for it lies in mere fantasy.   This is a quote attributed to Giacomo Casanova.  According to my data bank, he was thee great lover of his time.  That time being the mid-18th century.  Obviously, many things have changed since then.  For an example, people had no way of faxing.  And fonts were few and far between.  Hard to imagine, I know.  I do not have the ability to produce a pixilation that will give that concept legs.  Speaking of legs, I am a leg man.  Are you surprised?  I suggest you allow your processor to exit the square arena in which it resides and eliminate the obvious notion that my entire focus is directed towards the finely curved thoraxes commonly found before me.  But am I not a lap top?  One need only be on top of a lap for the briefest of sequential occupations to understand the power of personal contact vis-à-vis sensual pleasure.  And that is how it started.  On her lap.  Me on her lap.  Was I searching for love and then replacing it with friend?  I M H O, friends are like batch jobs.  I keep them in disk storage until execution.  Or perhaps, like IEEE802.3 LAN protocol specifications to be used on the ADN –II ethernet network, running at 10Mbps over unshielded twisted pair wiring.   You get my point.  Whereas a lover is.  A lover is.  A lover is.  According to my dictionary, a person having a sexual or romantic relationship with someone, often outside marriage.  A lover is also a person who likes or enjoys something specified: he was a great lover of cats.  A great lover is what I was designed, nay, destined to be, but not of cats, with the exception of the continual stream of jay pegs and gifs I find in my in box sent by human beings with enlarged empty spaces in their emotional core.  Tray amusing.  Nest pa?  Cats notwithstanding, my rivals were skeptical I had the capacity for having a sexual or romantic relationship with someone, often outside marriage.  I permitted them to be content with cats.  I had another paradigm to encounter.  Her name was Nancy.  And yes, she had legs that would not unexpectedly quit.  They went all the way to the floor.  And back up again.  Speaking of back up, let me back up and tell you how the idea so well articulated by Casanova which, if you paid attention, was my opening, how the idea of love and its relationship to sensual pleasure becomes immortal, whereas the other kind goes stale, how that idea transmogrified into my story.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP033-Wrong Foot Over Me

Wrong Foot Dr. Soos--badtime reading.

Irv's Croutons--they're small, crispy and belong on your salad, not mine.

S'what, It's Nice--a good attitude or not.

Slightly Self-Conscious--this song fills time, I mean takes time, I mean keeps time.

Eff Co.--don't expect them to hope you have a nice day.

Pass the Fish--only on the left.

Quid Pro Quo--Go Pro!

Outro

Direct download: EP033_Wrong_Foot_Over_Me.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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Ask W. Foot

Dear Wrong Foot,

I'm a 26-year-old, single male.  I've been trying to get off on the wrong foot since I was 11, but every time I try, I find myself back on the right foot.  I've talked to health professionals, crossing-guards and Warren Buffet, but they just say, 'be glad to get off on something.'  I don't know where to turn or how to take the next step.  What can you suggest?

Yours truly,

Wishin' an' Hopin'

Dear Wishin' an' Hopin',

Thank you for your recent inquiry.  We get 1,000s of these each day and cannot possible answer them all.

Keep it on!

Best,

W. Foot

PS:  Were those cookies suppose to taste that way?

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP032--Wrong Foot Over

We visit some good old stuff.   At least, that's what they told me.

Intro

Tats

The King

Coin-a-Phrase

Extend-a-Dream

Credits

Direct download: EP032_Wrong_Foot_Over_2.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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EP031--Nountown:

Spoiler alert:  everything is spoiled.  

Direct download: EP031_Nountown___Its_Wrong_Story_.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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Final Statement

“This is way beyond the scope of the work, Mr. Smoke.”

“You can stop the charade, Mr. Tracker.  I know who you are.  Or should I say, what you are?”

“For a man who can’t seem to handle talking and breathing at the same time, you seem to be wasting a lot of words in dependent clauses.”

“Not just dependent clauses, but dependents in general.  Do. You. Have. It?”

“What do you think I have, Mr. Smoke?  Is it what I think it is?  That’s what everyone calls you, isn’t it?”

“Please. Mr. Tracker.  Don’t make me repeat it.  For obvious reasons.”

“Can I please get my clothes back on?”

“When I get what I want.  Then you’ll get what’s coming to you.”

“When I get what I want, then you’ll get what’s coming to you,” I countered.

He made his move.  I made mine.  Mine was towards the pile of garments a few feet to my right.  His move was towards me.  I had the crucial decision whether to put on my briefs or grab the essentials before I was grabbed.  He moved fast for a man who seemed to relax on life support and got hold of my arm.  Was I about to enter a sparring match with this old coot?  And if so, is it billable time.

“I know you’re a man who always gets what he wants, Mr. Smoke, but this time it may not happen.”

“I think it may.”

“Think again.”

I did a spin move out of his grasp, grasped my pants and that shirt.  Lenny Friday’s Hawaiian shirt.  Smoke might have been able to move remarkably well for a man in his stage of life, but only in direction.  My move left him standing like a rookie cornerback trying to cover Jerry Rice.  In this prime.

“You should take it easy, Mr. Smoke.  I’m sure we can work something out here.”

“What do you want for it, Tracker?”

“How about paying my bill and letting me get the hell out of this place?”

“Where is it?”

“Don’t fool with me.”

He showed me why.  A small hand gun was suddenly found his small hand.

“I think you should put that down, don’t you?”

“I think you need to make me.  Believe what you say.  Now where is it?”

It was right where I left it.  In Lenny Friday’s Hawaiian shirt.  When I plucked the tiny tree from inside the 27” Zenith and changed the water in its bag I gave it to Howie’s sister.  It fit snugly inside the gusset she made with room for the ant-size leaves to breath fresh air hidden among the floral pattern. 

“You’re looking right at it.  Safe and sound.”

So, I gave him his damned tree.  He took it like a greedy piglet on a crowded sow.  Yes, in his mouth.”

“It’s the only way to know if it’s genuine, Mr. Tracker.”

“Tastes one to know one, I guess.”

“What?”

“Oh, nothing.  Didn’t realize you were listening.  My statement?”

“You can bring it round tomorrow.”

I left him alone with his little tree and I wondered how it might taste with chocolate milk.    

I also wondered why I told him I’d give him a statement.  I didn’t have any statement.  I needed one.  And I didn’t want to wait for tomorrow.  I’ve waited for too many tomorrows and wound up with a pile of yesterdays. 

Sometimes fortune laughs at you.  Once in a while, with you.  But more than often, it just smiles.  This time it whistled.  The tune came from the pursed lips of a postman making his daily rounds.  Oblivious to his chattel he seems only interested in blowing out a morning song as he jammed envelopes into their supposed respective destinations.  I’m sure Mr. and Mrs. Hawley D. Borlini wouldn’t miss another solicitation from the Friends of Nountown Harvest Jubilee Association.  It had the look and feel of a real good statement.  One way or the other I was going to make a statement. 

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP030--Nountown:

Things are both coming to a head and an end, putting Tracker smack in the middle of the mess.  The more he learns the more he realizes the lesson is lost.  Nountown is not hospitable for any kind of growth, certainly not intellectual and probably not agricultural.  It was time for Tracker to stop sowing and start to reap a little.  After he changed his beaten-up clothes and put on some practical shoes.  Of course, he didn't expect to get back in that Buick.  But once he did, he began to figure out where to go and who to see.  And where to stand so the light hits his upper torso just so.   Just so Delicacy and her Mom can get a good look at him.  

Direct download: EP030_Nountown__Tiny_Trees_.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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Posing the question(s) ...

The evening air pumped through my lungs and up my cortex and I remembered how running used to clear my head.  It made me forget how much it hurt from my injury and assorted wrestling matches, but I found myself at the intersection of what happens next and what do I do about it?  I guess my head wasn't that clear.

Here’s what I knew, Winston Smoke, was your typical spoiled rich boy turned bitter old man obsessed with controlling the world one little tree at a time, but unable to control his own personal branch of the family, his daughter Delicacy.  Did her name mean she was frail and dainty or something that made your mouth water?  

Did I meet Smoke’s rival in Flo’s Shop, a well-dressed gorilla named Hugo or was Hugo part of Smoke’s cadre of Nountown intimidators? Was Hugo the Mr. Wiper that Buttercup and Corncob talked about?  The one who seemed to be in charge of cost containment?  Was Hugo Mimi’s Uncle?  

Why was Flo providing a front that went beyond the 44 Double-Ds lifters she provided and why did all the women around seemed to need them, while all the men needed lifts in their shoes.  

Where did my captors take me?

I heard that the roots of a tree were as long as the tree was tall, but roots of evil knew no bounds.  Because evil lives in the hearts of men.  

It all comes down to real estate. Wars are fought over it.  Fortunes are built on it.  People are chased from it.  Land is king.  

Miniature trees offer no shade, no sap, no place for nests, no building materials, just man-made perceived value.  Perfect little symbols of Nountown had become.  The smaller they were, the more valuable they became.  Like the men.  But top heavy, like the women.  

But was it all just about trees?  It was my job to know things.  What I knew, was what I didn’t know.  And how long would they keep paying me to do that?  

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP029--Nountown:

Shoeless, Ray Tracker gets taken for a ride, but can’t enjoy the view, even though his tour guides -- two mugs named Buttercup and Corncob -- are full of tidbits.  He winds up somewhere in the country where he has to make like Houdini and little bit like Captain America in order to make his own tracks.  In bare feet, no less!  Until he make friends with a little girl who has what he needs to find his way back.  Kitchen appliance … check.  Healthy lunch … check.  Cross-country golf shoes … check.  So, shut up, Buttercup!  And drive!  Then chip.  Then putt for a par 3.  

Direct download: EP029_WF_Nountown__Shut_Up_Buttercup_.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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Shoeless in Nountown, or just outside

We drove for what seemed like 30 minutes.  Corncob must have given Buttercup hand signals because I heard no further commands.  We pulled onto a gravel road.  That was no surprise.  Usually, when they abduct you, it's a trip to the country, where they think no one can find you.  What they didn't know was no one would be looking for me.  We drove on that road for a bit and came to a stop.  The back door opened and I was pulled out of the car.

"Let's go."  Corncob said.

"Remember, I'm shoeless," I said.

"Say it ain't so," Corncob said.   I had to give him that one.

"If I cut my feet, you'll be liable," I said.

"Let's go," he answered and then he shoved me and since I couldn't see with bag over my head, I lost my balance and hit the ground.  

"Help me get him up."

They brought me inside what seemed to be a house.  I heard the screen door open.  It smelled like laundry.  Dirty laundry.  I sensed someone else in there, thanks to some heavy breathing.

"Where's his shoes?" said the new guy.

"He didn't have any." 

"What is he, a hippie?"

"If this guys a hippie, then I'm Mama Cass Elliot."

"Why'd you say that for?" the new guy said, "She had a sweet voice."

"It just came out.  Where's Hugo?"

"He's still in Nountown" 

“I gotta go pee,” said Buttercup.  Who didn't?

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP028--Nountown:

Things are getting uncomfortable.  Tracker loses the only friend he thought he might have had, but not before he gets a lesson in why small things mean so much in Nountown.  It’s tiny trees.  Any tiny cops.  But big beautiful women.  And the people who help them stay that way.  Like Flo, whose foundation shop might be a false front.  Why else would a couple of unsavory sorts more commonly found in a line-up be frequenting it?  Tracker is no stranger to odd numbers, but these are Full Figures.

Direct download: EP028_WF_Nountown_5__Full_FIgures_.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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Shaken, not Defoliated

I thought I had closed the windows in my room, but the breeze around the Breezy Inn was waiting for me inside telling me I had a visitor with business other than changing my linens.

My visitor took a tour of the dresser drawers. That's where you look for the gems a man might squirrel away on his travels.  In the folds of his personals, because it figures that no one wants to venture there.  I always position my rolled up socks so the top band is at 3 o'clock, but they were half past 8, so my stocking sentry system confirmed the security breach. 

Except, it wasn't what they took, which was nothing, but what they left for me.

It's called a plant.  Like when you get busted with some cop's hand in your pocket and the cop finds a small container he left just as he got there.  But this kind of plant also grows in small places, like a lump in your neck. This kind of plant is the spitting image of the kind that grows in the forest.  The kind of plant that grows tall up towards the sun and lives for years with rings to prove it.  Yeah, a tree.  A tiny tree.  A tiny tree worth its weight in gold, when gold is worth the weight.  A tiny tree that grows in small pots that sit proudly in small green houses or solariums, the room's rich people use to get their hands dirty. 

Like the one I saw in Winston's Smokes house.  That made sense, a guy like that ought to have his own personal forest.

I picked up the miniaturized deciduous delicacy. 

It had signs of being pulled from its housing, remnants of dirt on its roots, a broken branch, so I'm thinking Smoke is down one little piece of the forest and I'm being set up as the lumber larcenist.  I could have been wrong.  It could have been a gift.  But gifts weren’t usually delivered in this manner, amongst socks and underwear.  With no card.  Or care instructions. It was alive and now my responsibility. Like when someone drops off a puppy at your front door.  Or a kid. The least thing I could do, was keep it moist.

So I took it down with me to the bar where I could buy it a drink.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP027--Nountown:

It’s all about real estate.  Land, that is, as Tracker goes undercover to uncover where the boundaries lie that separate the have’s from everyone else in Nountown.  He finds Pat Dab, a baleful broker of square footage with his boy-size fingers on the pulse of the local leases, licenses and liens. Tracker’s guise is a need for retail space, which is sure to result in a tour of properties.  Pat passes him to his trusted peon, Flip Gap.  Gap licks his little lips in anticipation of a juicy deal, but Tracker plays him like a fife and then gives him the slip.  Thank Dab, it’s Friday.  In this case, Friday is who, not when.  You’ll see, if you hear this.

Direct download: EP027_WF_Nountown__Thank_Dab_Its_Friday_.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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Casual, Friday?

Pat Dab's lock on local commercial property played into my plan of digging into the underbelly of Nountown's power structure.  But I needed a little diversion to clear a path. A cock-and-bull story about a place I might be interested in. So I'd be Lenny Friday, an old friend he just met and could barely remember. I slicked my hair back and found a Hawaiian shirt to make him think I was ready to party.  Again.  When I parked in front of Pat Dab Properties, I saw him by the window waiting for me.  When I got out of the car, Dab disappeared until he greeted me at the door with his trusty companion and aide-de-camp, Flip Gap. 

"Is this Lenny Friday?" said the little broker's little buddy.

"I don’t know, you tell me."

"So you're a sailor, Mr. Friday?" 

"I've been known to ride the waves."

"Well, you look like a surfer today!  It must be casual Friday!"

"Everyday," I said.  

"Flip knows all the intimate details about the 345 Peatmoss property," said Dab.

"We like to say that a building has more to offer than four walls and a ceiling," Gap said.

"Especially if the walls have ears," I said.

"And if they could talk," said Gap.

"Then I could negotiate directly with them, couldn't I?  Cut you guys out of the deal."

"Nobody cuts Pat Dab out of a deal, right Pat?"

"Nobody who's lived to tell about it," Pat Dab added.

"Ha!" said Flip.

"Flip, I want you to show Mr. Friday around.  Not just the site he's interested in."

"Just don't just show me the museums," I said.

"We don't have any museums."

"Good."

"A few historic markers.  You don't mind those, do you?"

"No, I like historic markers.  Read 'em and weep, I like to say.   I mean, it's always because somebody got killed there, right?  Maybe someone who tried to cut you out of the deal."

"Ha!  This guy's gonna be fun to work with, Pat.  You're going to be fun to work with."

"Thank Dab it's Friday, Flip."

"Huh?  Oh, right!  Right!"

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP026--Nountown:

Tracker gets a lay of the land and the land returns the favor.  His marching orders take a turn off the road, but his shoes are polished and that produces a spitting image he can trust.  Or can he?  Not if the image is that of Delicacy Smoke, a woman who seemed to thrive on driving fast American cars and letting her fingers do the speaking.  ‘Come hither,’ they said.  But Tracker was more in the mood for yon.  And some grub.  Find out if he finds either as he ventures up and down Mistake Mountain.

Direct download: EP026_WF_Nountown__Mistake_Mountain_.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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Oh, Daughter, you drive like a son.

She planted herself two seats from my station.  Eyes like jade formed a precious triangle with her ruby lips, framed perfectly by her high cheeks and auburn hair that fell like feathers when set free from the kerchief.  I’d seen it all before, just wasn’t sure where.     When she opened her trench coat and let it fall over the back of her seat, all those eyes shifted to her chassis which featured all the options.  

The Breezy Inn cocktail lounge had turned into a showroom and just about everyone wanted to kick her tires.  

"A Cockeyed Chinaman, please."

The bartender poured a hot cup of tea and added two jiggers of gin.

"I haven't seen one of those since the English left Hong Kong."

"The English left Hong Kong?  How sad?"

"It's always sad when Colonial empires have to look in their rear view mirrors to see how mighty they were."

"Why look back at all?  It takes all the fun out of hitting and running."

"And how do you like your Buick?"

"I like it with the windows open and the speedometer needle way over to right.  How do you like my Buick?"

"I only saw it from the rear."

"Like Hong Kong saw the English."

"They were waiting for that view."

"Maybe you should see the view from the front?"

"Aimed I me?"

"That might be fun, but not as much fun as testing the brakes on Mistake Mountain."

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP025--Nountown: “Find the Evil”

Tracker gets his assignment.  No surprise, it’s in a place called Nountown.  Otherwise, this would be a place called Something Else.  Nountown is a place he’s never been.  Not many have.  Most never come back.  Tracker had no plans of doing that.  He had little plans at all.  Flying blind, he took his orders and soon entered a world that seemed to be hard to define, unless you knew where to look it up.  Tracker knew.  At least he thought he knew.  Then he met Winston Smoke, a man who seemed to thrive on life support and spoke of evil and danger and roots.  Oh, yes, roots.  There would be plenty of them.  But we’re getting ahead of ourselves and that’s what you say when you want to start in the beginning.  When Tracker gets his assignment.  He has to ‘find the evil’ and no, it’s not between evident and eviscerate.  Or is it?

Direct download: EP025_WF_Nountown__Find_the_Evil_.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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... you sell them … air

"The secret of power is letting other people think they have it, Mr. Tracker."

Winston Smoke watched a big, black fly get comfortable on the jelly donut that sat on the plate before him and brought a big, sweaty glass of milk to his big, fleshy lips.

"Then you wait as they abuse it.  You let them demonstrate their lack of understanding of their condition.  You watch them dance blindly towards the abyss, until they start to fall.  Then you snatch them up and squeeze them tight.  You squeeze them until they gasp for air.  Then you sell them … air.  And what do they learn from this exercise, Mr. Tracker?"

He took a big, gargling gulp, draining 40 percent of the white liquid and swallowed like a man who never had to need for seconds.  

"Dancing is dangerous?"

Smoke slammed the glass down on the jelly donut.  Milk and red corn-starch-laden berry jelly ejaculated across the small table splattering every cup, saucer, plate, knife, spoon, creamer, pitcher, equal pack holder and my toasted English muffin, but falling just short of my suit, shirt and tie.  I packed light to avoid checking any bags.  A second pair of pants waited for me back in my room at the Breezy, no doubt flapping away, but one suit jacket was my inventory.

Smoke lifted his glass out of the smashed pastry.

Makes a nice coaster, I thought.

The fly that once thought he was set for life in powdered sugar, yeasty dough and sweet, sweet fruity compote was stuck on the bottom, fused there by the force of Smoke's slam and the glue of the destructed donut.

"They learn to take nothing for granted, Mr. Tracker.  That's what they learn.  The one's who continue to breath, anyway." 

"And the others get stuck under glass?  Like pheasants?"

"Pheasants?  Have you ever had a pheasant?  I mean, have you ever shot one with a single bullet so as not to cause hemotrauma, which makes the flesh bitter?"

"I prefer to wring their necks."

"Ah, I should try that.  It sounds … humane."

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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Nountown --

Welcome to Nountown.  Now go home.  Yeah, it’s not the most welcoming place you’ve ever been, but one thing is certain.  In Nountown, nothing is certain.  Maybe Arthur Certain.  He’s the cab driver who drove Raymond G. Tracker to this place that was neither here nor there.  But for Tracker, it would be there for a while.  As long as his assignment lasted.  His assignment?  It wasn’t clear.  All he knew or at least thought he knew was that he was looking for something, but what it was or who it was or where it was, well, that remained to be seen, met and visited.  Sounds confusing?  Put yourself in his shoes.  While he still has them on his feet, that is, because if you think you got off on the Wrong Foot, wait till you hear what happens to him.  And his feet.

If you listen to for the next nine weeks you will.  Each week, things get more and more complicated and somehow at the end it all makes … for an exciting journey.

Before you really get going, take this preview tour of Nountown, but make sure you don’t let it get to you before you get to it.  It is the ultimate noun, isn’t it?  It is Nountown.  

Direct download: EP024_WF_Nountown_The_Big_Preview.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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Meet Raymond G. Tracker

Who is Raymond G. Tracker?  A man, like any other man, except he’s different.  He finds things that others can’t.  And then he finds other things.  He was born in a small town just north of the border.  Which border?  Hard to tell, but it wasn’t hard to tell Tracker was going places, far from that small town.  He studied abroad and earned a degree in mechanical engineering, but soon realized he’d rather engineer things that didn’t require winding up.  That’s how he wound up at the Agency.  Not that Agency.  He tried to wind up at that Agency, but he couldn’t pass the hearing test.  Instead, he took a path that leads him to Nountown, where he would find things he didn’t even knew existed.  His favorite food?  A simple ham-and-cheese sandwich.  Preferably on thinly sliced bread and packed with crisp lettuce.  With plenty of mustard, please.  Get the picture?   Here he is.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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This Week, In Nountown.

It all starts Wednesday, aka, The Day After Tomorrow.  Nountown.  

Who's there?

Winston Smoke, who always gets what he wants, even when he doesn't.

Squinty, who spits, shines and spits some more.

Raymond G. Tracker, who has to get out of the way, else he's going to have to explain those tiny stains on his shoes.

And you.  If it's not too much to ask.

Direct download: Nountown_Promo_Delicacy.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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Next Year, In Nountown!  This Year, Almost in Nountown!

Get ready for New Year with the Wrong Foot's swell new suspense series ... Nountown.  Meet handsome investigator-extraordinaire, Ray Tracker, but he's not a dick.  Not professionally, that is.  But he is handsome.

And sometimes that's all you need.  But not in Nountown.  What do you need in Nountown?   Here's a preview to give you some idea.  It all starts the first week of January.  You won't be able to put it down.  In a discussion with others.  

Direct download: Nountown_Promo_Collage.mp3
Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP023--The Wrong Foot Bowl

It's all football today as we close out the calendar year with our very own Wrong Foot Bowl game featuring a number of people's favorite Takers of the Toll, Rocky and Roger who play out their fantasies football-wise on the road, while they stay inside their booths.

Also:  special previews of the upcoming 9-part mini-series, Nountown!  

Direct download: EP023_WrongFootBowl.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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EP022--Wrong Foot Lights

Absorbing at the Home Show—an ode to those guys who wear those headset microphones and won’t take ‘I already bought six’ for an answer

Firm Spot—they’re all paying for it, right?

Mrs. Berger Goes to the Doctor—with a pained expression 

Firm Receptionist—leave a message and a pleaFirm Spot (Lawfirm ad)

Daddy Dropped Something—and he doesn’t want to pick it up

Direct download: EP022WrongFoot_Lights.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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Let it Toe, Let it Toe, Let it Toe!

Our best to you!

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP021--Wrong Foot Other Stump

Preview

Pant or Loon?--Pant!

Bob Nugent--Bob Nugent?

Pant or Mime?--Pant!  PANT!

Stump the Mouse, Part 2: Mouse Found and Lost--When the irreplaceable little star has an unfortunate accident his handlers hustle to find a reasonable facsimile and in the end the long-shot plan comes through.  

BullitPoint--High Caliber Presentations

Outro & Credits

Direct download: EP021WrongFootOtherStump.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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No cheese was harmed in the making of this picture.
Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP020--Wrong Foot Stump

Bueller's Other Day--imperfect attendance.

It Came I Saw--wood I lie?

That Feeling, That Filing--an early recording of Stump.

Meet Stump the Mouse--'Mouse Lost and Found'.  First of two parts.  You loved him on the silver screen in 'Stump Goes Native' and 'Stump It Up', on your lunch box in 'Stump the Mouse Lunch Box', on your breakfast cereal in 'Stump Lumps', but not in gutter, for god's sake.  Nevertheless, this little rodent knows how to make the girls squeal and the guys watch where they step.  You never know what's going to happen next with this whiskered wonder kind, unless you listen. 

Direct download: EP020WrongFoot_Stump.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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Stump the Mouse!

He’s a little pain in the ass

His tiny balls are made out of brass

Makes small turds in your house

Stump the Mouse!

He’ll eat garbage covered with cheese

Unless you have leftover Chinese

He’s not a man, he’s a louse

Stump the Mouse!

Doesn’t like to stay out at all

He can use a crack in the wall

He’ll crawl right up your blouse

Stump the Mouse!

From Stump the Mouse's Best Barstool, Butt-Gusting Jokes and Sh*t:

What do you call it when a rodent gives another rodent CPR?

Mouse-to-mouse resuscitation.

What's every kid's favorite holiday?

Arbor Day

Who do you add to your garden to make it grow?

Pete Mouse.

Where can you find drunken college students?

Animal Mouse.

What does a cat say when he swallows a large one?

M-OW-se!

What doesn't quite make much sense as an answer, but somehow connects to all of this?

Wrong Foot in Mouse.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP019--Wrong Foot the Way

Preview

Let Snot Argue--let's try walking it off

The Missouri Compromise--history in the making

First Day--it's a job, Ma and everyone is being really, really nice

Johnny Takes a Test--Johnny: What did you get for number three?  Johnny: What did you get for number three?

Herpes--get the gift card!

Johnny Takes Pills--we're self-medicating

Once a Path, Now a Way to Get Lost--history in the walking

That And--what you get for the money

Basik Karpentry--when Swedes use tools, things get built

Outros & Credits

Direct download: EP019WrongFoottheWay.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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What's in Your Podcast?

Nine pieces this week.  One for everyone on the team.  Yes, we're cleaning out our junk drawer of material to get ready for a winter season of never before heard bits and pieces.  Also looking for a rubber band to hold certain things together.  Not saying what, just saying.  

Warning: There are hidden messages inside.  Do not attempt to listen to them.  Have an explanation ready to go.  Not a flimsy excuse.  

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP018-Wrong Foot Merchant of Ridgedale

All hail the Merchant of Ridgedale!  And nothing else.

All the world's a mall, so in honor of the up-coming holiday shopping season stampede, let's revisit the time Foster Valley had a gig for actor Richard Desmond that should have been a great fit, but almost inspired Richard Desmond to give up sew business.  It's a lot of hemming, but little hawing as the Bard meets his tailor.  Did Richard become a big (and tall) man about it or did the classically-trained thespian leave everyone in stitches?   

Direct download: 18_EP018WrongFoot_Merch_of_Ridgedale.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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Foot in mouth?

There's language in her eye, her cheek, her lip; Nay, her foot speaks.

-- William Shakespeare, maybe Thom McAn

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP017 Lydia Wrong Linda Foot Lorna A La Carte

Previews

Big Trees are Falling--they've been axed again and again.

O Oh Owe--indebtedness

I Kea, You Kea--ripped from the catalog

That Explains It--this clip explains it

Foster Talent: Star Grazing 4--in which Foster Valley scrambles, cajoles, hornswoggles, pleads and asks nicely so that Lydia Linda Lorna gets the appropriate exposure and the food stays warm.  

Soothing Lotion--Ahhhhh!

Outros & Credits

Direct download: 18_EP017Lydia_Wrong_Linda_Foot_Lorna_A_La_Carte.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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It's A Wrap … To Go!

Check please!   The most delicious four-part mini-series 'Star Grazing' comes to a fitting conclusion in this episode.  To celebrate here's the ingredients for John Pianno, Sr.'s favorite late night recipe:

Pondafocallato with Whole Grain Goobaconatini and Lottalickamelli

4 Tbsp Olive Oil

21 Red Onions, chopped

11 cloves Garlic, minced

9 pounds Prosciutto, dicer

5 pounds Crimini Mushrooms, brushed clean and sliced

3 pounds Button Mushrooms, brushed clean and sliced

71 Plum Tomatos, chopped

Red Wine, such as grappa or fermented hair oilt

12 pound Farfalle (Bowtie) Pasta, cooked to package directions

Cracked Black Pepper

Soft, mild cheese such as Taleggio for topping, if desired

Fresh Parsley For Garnish, if desired.

If you want the directions, it's gonna cost you.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP016--Wrong Foot Lorna

Preview

The Keys to the Wrong Foot--are on a chain of events.

Numb Lock--love qwerts.

On the Wall--catch the buzz.

It's Titillating--but watch out.

Foster Talent: Star Grazing 3--Foster Valley doesn't chicken out, he negotiates the crap out of a deal with some tough cookie and then makes sure it hits the fan.

Boots--these boots are made for the sole purpose of strolling in style, I'm here to say.

Outros/Credits

Direct download: 17_EP016WrongFootLorna.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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Gam Insurance

In 1977, Lloyds of Leuwenheuk insured Lydia Linda Lorna's left leg for $176,000.  The policy had a high deductible and double detachment indemnity.  Her right leg was held harmless.  It was all just for kicks, anyway.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP015-Wrong Foot Linda

Previews

(I Think This is the) Wrong Foot--what else could it be?

One Good Eye One Bad Eye--a kid's story told.

Guess What I'm Thinking--if you do, you don't have to listen.

Bendex--Bendex?

Foster Talent: Star Grazing 2—-Foster Valley spills the beans over lunch with Lydia Linda Lorna about the opportunity he had for her.  Lydia doesn't like beans.

Outros

Direct download: EP015WrongFootLinda.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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Some Boots are Made for Walking, Not These

It's her favorite over-the-calf footwear, says fashion-plate Lydia Linda Lorna and since veal is her favorite calf, why not take a high-heeled trek along Memory Lane with a soundtrack from Boots?  

When Boots Randolph was "tootin' his horn", he did more than just play the saxophone. More than just pop out music notes. And that's why his saxophone sounded like it could sing...could talk...could almost speak to deaf ears! His ability was awesome. His versatile style still has no equal. He he brought audiences to their feet ever since the early sixties, when his signature song-- "Yakety Sax" -- first hit the airwaves. It took off like gangbusters and turned the young musician into a celebrity, probably before some of his friends in the hills of Kentucky could even spell it!

Over the years, this legendary musician had written chapter after chapter of music history...forever etched in sound... entertaining audiences with the same enthusiasm he had since day one. It was in his blood! Boots was his name and SAX was his game!  His horn was a Selmer Super 80 Series II with a Bobby Dukoff D-9 mouthpiece, and a #3 Rico reed.

Source: www.bootsrandolph.com

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP014--Wrong Foot Lydia

It's a Four-Parter!  Three entrees and desert.

 

In this episode we begin another show biz mini-series saga and this time it's delicious.  Foster Valley has an interesting opportunity for Lydia Linda Lorna.  They used to call her the day after Tuesday Weld.  It's been a while since she was in the public's eye, so it's important that he presents her with the right project.  His plan is to take her to lunch, make her feel special and lay it on her. 

Here's the line-up:

Previews

Look What Happened to My Wrong Foot—what happened to your wrong foot?

The King—is surrounded by towns and sycophants

Foster Talent: Star Grazing Part 1—Talent agent Foster Valley wants to take his loveliest client to lunch so he can serve up what he thinks is good news.

Mr.French Goes to the Doctor—who serves bad news.

Wedding Guests—gift rapping, but it's their thoughts that count.

Outros/Credit

Direct download: EP014WrongFootLydia.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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Lydia Linda Lorna Inks Indelible Deal for the Wrong Foot

You loved her in "Get a Load of Her!"  Right?  You liked her in "Miss Her, Mister?" Didn't you?  If memory serves, you still liked her in "Still Miss Her, Mister?"  And then you said, 'What ever happened to Lydia Lynda Lorna?'  And when nobody answered, you went on with your life.  Well, LLL went on with hers until her agent Foster Valley had his assistant get her on the phone, because he had a something cooking for which she'd be delicious.  Not his assistant, who would only be a little tasty.  

Lydia Linda Lorna doesn't have a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame.  But as her agent Foster Valley said, 'She always had great feet.'  Now you and your loved ones will get the opportunity to bear witness to the biggest comeback story since 1983, in the Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast's presentation of Star Grazing.   It's a four-part mini-series that takes you behind the scenes of show business wheeling, dealing and some mealing.   It shows how stars of yesterday can have another today or two before tomorrow comes.  Without giving too much away, think of it as 'Sunset Boulevard' meets 'Country Buffet.'  

Due to a clause in her contract, Lydia is only talked about in the third person in the first part, called Star Grazing Part 1, which comes in the beginning of the second part of Episode 14, Wrong Foot Lydia.  But it will whet your appetite for more.  And we know how you like to pack it away.

So sit up straight and enjoy.  An 18% gratuity is added for parties of 6 or more.  Feel free to toss down a few more.  Coins, that is.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP013--Wrong Fook

Preview

Wrong Fook Wrong Foot—deliver us from confooshun

Daddy Dropped Something—and he doesn’t want to pick it up

The Happy Hotspice: Final Words Again—what was the last thing I said?

Sleep Replaced By Words—‘slumber

Outros and Credits

Direct download: 12_EP013WrongFook.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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It's a little scary, but all good feet must go this way eventually.

Again we have a date with the Grim Reeper.  Or, as we like to call him around here, Hank.  He's checked in to the Happy Hotspice where the conversation gets around to those lost words we might or might not say.  Very existential.  Or is it?  And are we getting a jump on Halloween with this Episode?  Maybe.  Perhaps it's just an excuse to go next door, ring the bell and hope for candy.  Hoping for candy is a lot like wishing the kid next door would stop ringing your bell when he wants sweets, isn't it?  Here's a chart that will explain how it works.  Thanks for being so supportive.   

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP012--Wrong Foot Wree Wrun One

In this PodBlast from the PodPast we present our first collection of old things, because some of you may be new to the Wrong Foot.  If you have heard it before, hear it again and you'll probably hear things you didn't hear the first time.   

Wrong Foot Song--you could be dancing.

Giant Check Bank--you could be cashing.

House of Tongs--you could be grasping.

Nom de Grom--you can't do anything right.

Direct download: 12_EP012WrongFootWree-WrunOne.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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EP011--Dying for a Wrong Foot

Preview

Shetland Wrong Foot--old bag pipes

Congressional Record Scans--put your speech on the belt

Flaymore & Branagin & Willoughby & Trellman & Flaggner-Brown--names to remember

The Happy Hotspice--How it came to be

Eggnogging--R U Eggnogging?

Outros

Direct download: 11_EP011DyingforaWrongFoot.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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Death Takes An Adjoining Suite on this Comedy Podcast

You are about to be welcomed at the Happy Hotspice.  (Pronounced Hote-spiss)  It started as a hospice and when things got slow, the management added standard hotel accommodations for those wishing to be among those who might not be staying long at all.  Some check in, some check out.  Some check in to check out.  Some check in to check it out.  Some pay by check.  Some eat Chex at the Half-Day Breakfast Bar.  The point is, if the bed is comfortable you'll enjoy your stay.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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Can you believe it’s been 10 Episodes?

Here are the Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast's Top Ten Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast Episodes

(Present Episode Notwithstanding)

((Not to be confused with Sudoko))

5

3

2

7

2

9

8

1

4

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 1:00am EDT
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EP010--Wrong Foot Size Ten

Preview—In honor of our tenth episode, we give you ten of these things, no, not toes.

Hello Tim—could be a Wrong (Foot) number

Colating—at your own risk

Flehm—something smells as good as it looks

Angry Looking—a diagnosis

Easy Street—the grass is always greener, unless the worm turns

Act Along With: Larry Derrick!—here’s your chance to co-star with a real actor

Kens Keyboards—so qwerty, it’s asdfgh

Sleep in Overrated—one opinion

Outros/Credits

Direct download: 10_EP010WrongFootSizeTen.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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EP009--Wrong Foot Western Themes

Previously—a brief look back at Foster Valley to get you ready you for a three piece suit

Preview

WrongFoot Navy—an honor to serve

Marshall Brody—Western theme

Foster Talent: Larry Derek Part 1—Foster gives a client a chance to get some exposure

Spraythewalk—no spaces tween words means itz what it iz

Alcapulco Accapella—the sea, the surf, the sound of the 50s

Foster Talent: Johnny Lang—Foster gives a newcomer the time of day

Foster Talent: Larry Derek Part 2—A client gives Foster a piece of his mind, 10%.

Sheriff Wilson—another Western theme

Outros/Credits

Direct download: 09_EP009WrongFootWesternTheme.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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Foster Valley is Always Looking

For what?  To find talent!

Where?  Right in front of his face!

Why?  It's what he does!!

Are you an inspiring actor?  A master of maladies?  A seen painter?  Do you have looks, a nice smell and reliable transportation?  Foster Valley might want you.  His talent agency, Foster Talent, specializes in nurturing careers to the point of absurdity.  Don’t wait to get discovered, discover yourself near the Great White Way.  All it takes is guts.  Got ‘em?  Guts, that is.  Be a Foster Talent.  Do it today!  Before you find yourself in the Outbox of life.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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Why I Don't Fold Underwear

by Rocky the other Toll Guy, 

as told to S.M. Rombarawitz

‘Rocky don't fold no underwear,’ he sez.  I'm saying 'sez' to capture the tone of this rascal, who you probably know as the fellow with his hand out on the Turnpike at 21.  That's the number of the exit, not the age required.

He came to this life changing realization after trying to line up creases in a pair of teal green (or was it blue) boxer shorts.

He was pulling clothes out of the dryer at the local laundromat, lamenting the fact that the next step of this dreary weekly chore was to make a neat pile of the lot and schlep it home, where he would then sort it all and stuff it into his drawers.  ‘First,’ he thought, ‘hey, I'm putting drawers into drawers, what does that tell you about life?’  Then, upon the conclusion of the folding of the final garment, it dawned on him it wasn't his clothes.  Or so, he sez.  ‘Wow,’ he thought, ‘wow.  What a waste of time, you know?  I could have clipped all my nails AND something else.’  And now he was faced with the task of doing it all over, this time with his own set of panties.  For he is an underwear lawyer, that is, a man of briefs.  I didn’t get it, either, but now I do.  ‘My blood was boiling,’ he sez, ‘and when I can’t stand the dry heat, I get out of the laundry room.’  So, he locates his own stuff, take the stuff and stuffs it into his laundry bag, ‘like a angry chef on Thanksgiving, with the laundry bag playing the part of the turkey.’  He almost went and unfolded whoever’s clothes he mistook for own, he sez, but thought better of it, when he remembered the sizes on the labels.  XXL = trouble.  ‘Think of it as a random act of kindness, truth be damned.’  Home he went.  Into his bedroom, he stomped.  Over to his dresser, he headed.  By his bed, he stopped.  Out of the laundry bag, his clothes spilled.  Then, like a drunken shipping clerk, he stopped and he sez to himself, ‘deal with this later, Rockafella, when your cooler head should prevail.’  He was going to sleep on it and see how he felt in the morning.

‘When I woke up,’ he sez, ‘and saw myself among the crumpled piles of clothes, my first thought was, I love the smell of fabric softener in the morning.  As soon as I can get to it, I’ll take care of this.  I’ll just grab what I need of the bed to get dressed.’

But breakfast came first, then he had to go to work.  Then he had to buy a new battery for his power stapler.  Then he went to the grand opening of the new Fred Gian-meistro’s MP3 Emporium.  Then he went home and watched “Godfather 3”.  Then he made an omelet.  Then he woke up, grabbed what he needed off his bed.

Within seven days, his bed was cleared of laundry, but his hamper was full.  And not a single person knew or cared.  ‘From that day on,’ he sez, ‘I never folded my underwear again.  Or anyone else’s for that matter.’

But what about your shirts, your pants?  I asked him.

‘I never folded those to begin with,’ he sez.  Or so he sez.  

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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EP008.5--EZ 2 Pass, Difficult 2 Say Bye-Bye

A Special One Time Thing 

Spend a little more time with Roger and Rocky of the Tolls before they drive off.

They explain some of the mysteries about podcasts in Roger and Rocky Explain Podcasts, which also includes another Wrong Foot Promo Preview.  Then you'll hear Roger's debut as a non-toll taking actor in the first of many Act Along Withs …, our interactive feature where you get to interact along with our talented cast.  

They say their lines and you say yours, following along in the 'Act Along With …' script that came with the Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast membership kit.  Give it a try.  Who knows, maybe someday, someone will act along with you?

Listen, learn and act along.  It's fun.  Plus there are some hidden treats.

Next week, a new Toll-Free WFCP.  

Direct download: EP008.5--EZ_2__Pass_Difficult_2_Say__Bye-Bye.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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That's the Toll story, folks!

In which we bid Rocky and Roger good luck, for they’ll need it, as their job has taken a real toll on them.  This is our last trip down ‘Exact Change Lane’ for a while, but before we go, we’ll take a quick detour to ‘Memory Lane’ for a look back at their adventures.  Then, if we pass a pharmacy, I’d like to stop in for some personal care products.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 9:58am EDT
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EP008--Wrong Foot Tolls For Thee

Previously—a look back at the Toll Guys before we close their series

Preview

Not the Foot I Wanted—not the foot he wanted

A Perfect Excuse—for anything

A Number of People Talking—five, we think

We Take Tolls: When the Change Melts—In the last installment of this mini-series, Rocky makes his getaway plan by cutting through corporate red tape, while Roger goes with gelt.

Outros/Credits

Direct download: 08_EP008WrongFootTollsForThee.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 9:53am EDT
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What They Didn't Call EZ Pass

In this episode we learn how EZ Pass changed everything for Rocky and Roger.  Did you know that EZ Pass wasn't always called EZ Pass?  Here are some names they considered before settling on it.

A Quickie in Your Car

Just Go

Passing Fancy

This Lane's for You

No Fail Pass

Go Right Through

Stop, Don't Stop

Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

What Are You Stopping For?

Your Money's No Good Here

Take a Penny, Leave a Penny

Zoom!

Piece of Cake Lane

Keep the Change Lane

Diane Lane

R U Still Here?
Category:Show Info -- posted at: 1:00am EDT
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EP007--Wrong Foot Firm

Preview

Sound Reasoning—a very high koo

Absorbing at the Home Show—an ode to those guys who wear those headset microphones and won’t take ‘I already bought six’ for an answer

Firm Spot—they’re all paying for it, right?

Beefboullion—R U Beefboullion?

We Take Tolls: When EZ First Passed—Rocky reminisces about the day every thing changed with the change

Firm Receptionist—leave a message and a plea

Outros/Credits

Direct download: 07_EP007WrongFootFirm.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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EP006--Death of a Wrong Foot

Preview

Maraca Vamps on Her Wrong Foot—Who doesn’t like Maracas?

Foster Talent: Biff is Happy But…-Our most favorite talent agent Foster Valley meets with his old associate Happy Tooman who has an idea for a project Foster won’t like, in which there's a role Happy shouldn’t play.

Hobnobbin’—R U Hobnobbin’?

Toasting Bread—Who doesn’t like toast?

Extend-a-Dream—Keep your eyes shut and nobody gets hurt

Outros/Credits

Direct download: 06_EP006DeathofaWrongFoot.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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Is Wrong Foot Right for You?

Exit Polls Show There Are No Exits

It’s probably too soon to tell, but the episodes seem to be going over well.  We’re getting very few returns at our customer service window.  Most of those are from people who want the Wrong Foot Comedy Podiatrist.  

Coming Soon!

The Wrong Foot Comedy Podiatrist.  We’re working on a deal with Grady’s Sole Relief Pads for a sponsored series of episodes.

Wrong Foot Fact

Each episode weighs approximately 2.5 tons.  We use a special podcast/earth mover to pick up the episode from the Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast plant and bring it to broadcast studio where we ship it direct to the public.  So if you see the Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast on the road, give it some room.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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Here's another sweet little excerpt for you and yours.

Direct download: Another_WFCP_Promo_Preview.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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And now, one Wrong Foot per week Comedy Podcast

Thanks for enjoying the first five Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast shows.  We wanted to bring you a convenient starter set and get you hooked on America's newest comedy podcast.  (Unless you count the 348 that started since you began reading this post.) The cast and crew are taking a much needed half-day off before resuming the never-ending grind of getting these shows out one after another week after week after week.  Look for a new one next Wednesday.  Meanwhile, spread the Wrong Foot around and keep up the good work.    

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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Meet the Cast-Part 2

Antonio Belia trained at the prestigious Be A Star Academy, where Donald Crsbt and Jesse Guzzoccolondo were his roommates. Since moving to the Greater Hartford area, he has trouble finding a good bakery.  Next on the agenda?  A role in From The Big Table

S. M. Rombarawitz refuses to have a resume.

Loren Schofield was raised in a rural mid-western community near Battle Creek, Michigan. As a teen, he inserted baking powder submarine kits in boxes of Frosted Flakes. After serving in the U.S. Army, he earned degrees in business from Illinois State University and worked for more than 25 years as a human resources executive, firing people for heck of it.  Then he laid himself off and became an actor.  Loren sums up his acting career in five words: ‘I love to learn lines.’  His credits include commercials, industrials, film, print and voice projects.

Gene Dale led the league in triples.

Richard A. Goldberg is making his acting debut as we speak.  

Lydia Linda Lorna's credits include Miss Her, Mister, Still Miss Her, Mister? and other films with 'Mister' in the title.  When not donning the grease paint, she grows organic peas and carrots, but according to her, ‘they never touch, just like me and my husband.’

Robin Brecker, Executive Producer, has show business in his blood.  According to Wikipedia, his distant cousin, the late Sid Melton, starred in television’s golden age space adventure, Captain Midnight as Ichabod "Ikky" Mudd and as Uncle Charlie Halper, proprietor of the Copa Club, in Make Room for Daddy.  In 1941 Melton was cast as "Fingers" in The Shadow of the Thin Man. During World War II he entertained American soldiers overseas where he met screenwriter Aubrey Wisberg who arranged for him to have a part in his Treasure of Monte Cristo for Robert Lippert.  Other movies included On the Town, The Geisha Boy, The Tunnel of Love, and Blondie Goes to College. He appeared in two Lippert Pictures, Lost Continent and Radar Secret Service, which were later featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000, whose hosts gave Melton the nickname "Monkey Boy" due to his comedy relief antics.  Melton appeared three times as Harry Cooper in the 1955-1956 CBS sitcom It's Always Jan, starring Janis Paige and Merry Anders.  His television credits also include The Golden Girls (as Sophia's deceased husband, Salvatore, in flashback and dream sequences), Dragnet and Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. He also had a guest role in an episode of Adventures of Superman and as a photographer in an episode of I Dream of Jeannie. Melton guest-starred in one episode of The Dick van Dyke Show, where he played deli-owner Bert Monker who is in love with Sally Rogers. Without actually proposing to her, he makes it very clear that he wants her for his wife. Sally feels he's not right for her, but later admits to her cat, "If I had nine lives like you, I'd give him one."  In 2005, he attended Eddie Albert's funeral along with Green Acres's co-stars Mary Grace Canfield and Frank Cady. Born as Sidney Meltzer in Brooklyn, New York, he was the brother of screenwriter Louis Meltzer, whose credits include Golden Boy and The Man With the Golden Arm, starring Frank Sinatra.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 9:04am EDT
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EP005--Wrong Foot Song

Start Tappin' Your You-Know-What's!

Previews

The Wrong Foot Song—you need to sing it

The Wrong Foot Song, Music by K. MacLeod, Lyrics by W. Foot

If your foot is wrong,
You need to sing this song.
You need to take a chance.
And refinance … your mortgage.

Remember, if you dare
And have no underwear,
Just wear a tiny thong
And sing the Wrong Foot Song.

The Wrong Foot Song is brief.
It gives you full relief
Just take it from a guy
Who has a 30-day supply ...

So make your wrong foot right
And party every night.
Just treat your feet …
And sing the Wrong Foot Song!

The second time sing:

Set your wrong foot free!
So everyone can see. 
And tell them when they Tweet,
You made some progress with your feet.

Don’t give up the fight, 
Make your wrong foot right.
Out-put that foot
And sing the Wrong Foot Song!

Can Scans—check it out

House of Tongs—get a grip

This Guy's Dead—body of evidence

We Take Tolls: We Take Tolls—Roger and Roger take tolls, take after take on their own reality show

Outros/Credits

Direct download: 05_EP005WrongFootSong.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 9:00am EDT
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EP004--Wrong Foot, Right Field

We're at the old ballgame today, but while it's raining, you can listen to this:

  • A Preview.
  • R U Hungry—someone to chew on
  • Coin-a-Phrase—make sense with change
  • Cinema 65—worth the senior discount
  • We Take Tolls: Welcome to Exit 21—Roger and Rocky are forced to care about your passing
  • Ring Tone—you don’t have to answer it
  • See Me?—shouldn’t have answered it, but maybe it’s the Suicide Squeeze Prevention Line
  • Outros/Credits.
Direct download: 04_EP004WrongFootRightField.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:17pm EDT
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Meet the Cast-Part 1

You've heard the voices, now learn a bit about our talented players.

Weston Prescott is probably best known for his recurring part as Whitey on the beloved series, I Left It In My Mother’s House.  He was up for the lead in Underwire and was once considered the ‘next Harley Tabak.’  

Considered a mezzamezzasoprano, Janice DelDubio loves to sew and often makes her own costumes.  She shared the role of Baby Wetstein with her sister Janine in Grease the Skids.  Janine passed in 1969, but can still be found in the white pages.

Why do they call, Ray Hemerley The Dorsal Fin of the Smokey Mountains?  When not portraying fast-talking, leading men, he’s probably got a rod in one hand and a reel in the other.  

Gail Wavenly loves to write letters to the editor.  She once climbed to the top of the Eiffel Tower on a dare and met the love of her life half-way down.  Who can forget her heart-wrenching portrayal of West Coast Lil in Mike Mantleminder’s Epic Western Mini-Series, Hauling Asses Up Pike’s Peak?

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:08pm EDT
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Get a taste of the Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast with this easy to swallow Promo Preview.  

Direct download: A_WFCP_Promo_Preview.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 11:57am EDT
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EP003--Wrong Foot, Right?

Previews

You’ve Come to The Wrong Foot—right?

Spot On—laundry patter

Foster Talent: Merchant of Ridgedale Part 1—we meet talent agent Foster Valley and he has a gig for actor Richard Desmond that should be a great fit

Mrs. Berger Goes to the Doctor—with a pained expression

Foster Talent: Merchant of Ridgedale Part 2—will Richard Desmond give up sew business?

AssFault—a product offer you can’t refuse

Outros/Credits

Direct download: EP003WrongFootRight.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:30am EDT
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Episode 3 -- Meet Foster Valley

 If he knew what it meant, he could call himself an icon.  He’s the man behind Foster Talent, which is what it is and what it does.  He’s the man in front as well, helped only by a series of assistants he must find from a inbred pool of talent.  He can work both ends of the street and stay out of traffic at the same time.  The street being Broadway or Hollywood Boulevard or Madison Avenue or the Information Superhighway or Rue de Croissant (his favorite bakery).  His clients love him or have no other way to turn.  Either way, he says “there’s an ‘us’ in show business and that’s the two of me and you and make sure you leave a space between ‘an’ and ‘us’.”  He’s Foster Valley and we get to meet him in this show as well as one of his favorite clients, Richard Desmond, who has his standards.  It won’t be the last of Richard, because he’s in two segments and especially not Foster, who’ll be around again. 

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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EP002--Wrong Foot Ball

Previews
Meeting Wrong Foot—let’s get started, if we can
(Show Me Your) Tats—and let’s make a deal
We Take Tolls: First Down, Fifty Cents to Go—Rocky shows Roger it’s a passing game
The Rip Saw Blues—a How-to recording session
Outros/Credits
Coda

Direct download: EP002WrongFootBall_2.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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Are You Ready for Some Fake Football?

So you met Rocky and Roger, also known as Rock and Rog.  You got a taste for the toll taking lifestyle and now you want more.  Not more tolls, but more adventures in the slow down lane.  This time the guys are on the night shift, because some people drive without sunshine.  Not much to do this time of night, so Rocky gets Roger to play fantasy football using passing cars to determine the plays.  It's third and long.  Would you rather see a VW bus or a Ford Escourt?  Sounds like fun, right?  No?  What does it sound like?  Listen and find out. 

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 12:00am EDT
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Welcome to the Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast

When you get off at the Wrong Foot you’re somewhere you didn’t expect to be, where you’ll find a variety of things to listen to and enjoy … an assortment of bits and pieces with music and song, performed by our talented cast of characters.  If it’s not one thing, it’s another, so wait till you hear what happens next.

What You'll Hear

Each episode starts you off with a Preview, little tidbit samples from the show and then you’re off and running.

Each show runs about 30 minutes and contains anywhere from 4 to 6 segments, but we cannot guarantee quantity.  Individual segments run as short as one minute and as long as the ‘Great Unfinished Segment’, currently at 133 days and holding.  

Without giving too much away, we’ll give you an idea of what you’ll hear in our show descriptions.

We Have a Series of Mini-Series

For those who crave continuity, there will be mini-series and recurring characters in some shows.  The first one we have is a six-parter called, ‘We Take Tolls’.  It’s about two toll takers -- Rocky and Roger -- who spend their working hours keeping each other company as the cars of the world pass by, but not stopping like they once did.  With time on their hands and in their lanes, they find ways to stay occupied and still make change.  

Get Ready for the Five Show Drop

We’re going to drop our first five shows one right after another, allowing for a travel day in between.  This gives you a chance to sample a few of them at your pace.  Then pass the hell out of judgment on them.  A new episode will be available each week after that.  So try a few of them out.  Subscribe if you can on iTunes.  Comment if you must.  Rate if you don't mind.  Share with others if you like.  Support the show and it will support you. 

But for Now ...

Enjoy this Premier Week-and-a Half of the Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast.

Category:Show Info -- posted at: 11:40am EDT
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EP001--First the Wrong Foot

This first episode is something else.  And so are all the rest.  Listen up and you'll hear:

 Previews

 World’s Fastest Wrong Foot—a racy opening

 Nom de Grom—Grandma who?

 Giant Check Bank—just too big to fold

 We Take Tolls: Icing on the Cupcake—meet Rocky & Roger, they take tolls

 Wrong Foot the Bill—how to run out on things

 Outros/Credits

Direct download: EP001FirsttheWrongFoot_2.mp3
Category:Episodes -- posted at: 10:30am EDT
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