Jun 19, 2014
My pedometer read 14,241 steps which meant my dogs were barking for a sit-and-stay after my long day of sniffing around Nountown. I still wasn't sure what I was looking for or how much of it I might find.
I was still a good 50 yards from the Breezy Inn and maybe my weariness was driving my mind off its path, but a big, blue Buick drove me into the muddy ditch skirting the roadway.
I could barely see the driver except to spot a kerchief on her head and I'm guessing it was a her, but I'd seen more than one odd sight in my short time in Nountown. Odd like a troupe of young men dressed as nurses, not male nurses but in white hats and tight white hospital dresses. A gaggle of Florence Nightingales named Frank.
I also saw mother after mother pushing empty baby carriages. Maybe they weren't mothers. Maybe they were baby carriage testers.
And of course I saw everyone look the other way when I crossed their path. It had been so long since I made eye contact with anyone I was beginning to think I had a terminal case of conjunctivitis with a twist of halitosis on a ten-foot pole.
This was a flash flood of fear in the streets I hadn't witnessed since Berlin split in half and Saigon went native. Was it fear that pushed me into the muddy moat or a last ditch effort to eviscerate the snooper by making a lasting effort to ditch me?
Either way, I now needed a laundry service to go with my foot bath. A spin around the agitator to whiten my whites while I pre-and post soaked myself.