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Wrong Foot Comedy Podcast


All's well that ends.

Jul 4, 2014

       "They wanted bigger nuts and they were, but the Swiss couldn't spit 'em out fast enough."

"The Swiss were making them?"

"No, they couldn't spit 'em out of their mouths fast enough.  They tasted like dirt. You see a black walnut, might as well be called the black widow, cause she's death.  Her bark is worse than her bite.  Poison, plain and simple.  You don't mix nothing with a black walnut.  Nothing that you want to … savor."

I could see this was more than just an old piece of local lore with Squinty.  He spoke of these trees like they were his cousins.

"They tried to go back to the old way, but then the paddles took over."

"The Paddles?  They bought the company?"

"Who?"

"You said the Paddles took over."

"Oh.  No, they made paddles.  They could make more making paddles than the nuts."

"Paddles.  Like for canoes?"

"Yeah, and for frat houses.  Until Smoke cleared."

"A forest fire?"

"No, Smoke cleared all the trees."

"Winston Smoke."

"Cleared all the trees."

"Why do you think he did it?"

"To get back at his daddy.  When Raleigh Smoke passed on, Winston took the opportunity to make his changes."

"What did his daddy do to him?"

"Made him nuts."